“Yeah, the passes they used that weekend were my Christmas gift, but they used to go all the time. I feel bad enough as it is. Garret once told me Bentley felt guilty because he wasn’t able to deal with his grief and support me through mine. What if the real reason is because he blames me?” I sob.
“Oh, honey. I don’t know what’s going on in my brother’s head, but I’m just about certain he’s not blaming you or those passes. No one is. The same thing could have happened on a store run for the moms.”
“But it didn’t, and if he does blame me, what does that say for this baby and its future? Will he continue to resent me and the baby every time he looks at us?”
“Oh, Zah, this is so much deeper than we all thought. We thought we were helping that night in Vegas. Garret and I had no idea you felt like this.
“Bentley doesn’t know this is how you feel either. I wish you two would just have a conversation. I get it.
“I’ve seen how he is with you and how those dumb fights start. That’s what’s so frustrating. I know he doesn’t mean it.
“He just gets all tied up when it comes to you. Almost like he’s watching himself fuck up, but he can’t stop before he does.”
“That’s toxic, Erica. This child doesn’t deserve that.”
“So what are you going to do?”
I shrug. “I’m going to hide out here and work on my vlog and company for as long as I can. When I go back, I’ll get a new place for me and the baby.
“To be honest, I don’t think I’m going to date for a while. As mad as I am at Bentley, there’s still a part of me that’s in love with him. I don’t think that’s fair to anyone else. That’s why I’ve never dated since we broke up.”
“You’re not going to tell him?”
“I don’t think he cares. He told me to go through with the Plan B.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? He didn’t. Why the fuck would he say that?”
“I told you, we said a lot of things.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll keep your secret under one condition. I get to be in the baby’s life and we’re doing this together,” she says and places a hand over my stomach.
I lean my head on her shoulder. “I was hoping you would say that.”
She kisses the top of my head. We fall silent for a beat. I wish I could call Bentley and have a conversation like we used to before it all fell to shit.
Things were once so easy. Our lives were all planned out. Now everything seems broken and irreparable.
“Zah?”
“Yeah?”
“He’s going to be pissed. When he finds out, you guys are going to have another blowup. Are you sure this is how you want to play it?”
“I know, but I don’t know what to do. Do you remember how we used to be so attuned and he would come running when I needed him, not knowing that I did?”
“Yeah, that has always been so crazy to me,” she says.
“I’m hoping he’ll know, and he’ll come home when we need him. If he does, I’ll tell him. If he doesn’t, this is it. We aren’t meant to be together. It’s the end of our story.”
Bentley
“Did you hear me, Mr. Coswell?”
“Sorry, no. I didn’t hear any of that. I have a lot on my mind,” I say as I look at Sarah and knit my brows.
“Should I start from the top?”
I frown and shake my head. It will only be a waste of time. I haven’t heard a word she’s said in the last thirty minutes.
