I keep playing that night with Zah over in my head. I said some really fucked-up shit. She had every right to be angry with me.
I did make her that promise. I’ve been loaded down with guilt since. I keep thinking about her taking that pill and flushing away our future.
I want to be a father. I want to be Zahirah’s husband. Eight years and she’s still the fire that burns my soul.
I’ve been thinking about what my dad would say. I fucked up. However, it’s not that I’ve fucked up, it’s what I’ve learned from it all.
Zahirah and I were so young when all that tragedy struck. I can’t blame her for walking away. I wasn’t handling my shit well.
I should have tucked some of that away like she was doing for me. That’s where I failed. I couldn’t find the words to tell herI was hurting too much to be the man she needed, and that was scaring the shit out of me.
My compass was gone, and I was dragging us both down, looking for a new direction. In Vegas, I fucked up because I tried to move forward without showing her I’m not the same man.
I’ve grown. The alcohol didn’t allow me to prove that. However, I know I’m a different man than the broken one she walked out on in college.
“I’m going to go, but there is something I thought I should tell you. It’s about the PI.”
This gets my full attention. I had told her to terminate his services. If Zahirah doesn’t want to be found, I’m going to respect that.
“What about him?”
“He wanted you to know there’s another PI looking into her. He said he did track down who the guy is and who he’s working for, if you want to know.
“Boss, none of this is any of my business, but my gut isn’t sitting right with this. Please contact him and get all the information. I personally don’t know how I feel about Miss Nickels because I’ve come to see you like a brother.
“I can be a little overprotective of you at times, but you’re clearly in love with her. From the sound of Fred’s voice, you’re going to want whatever information he has. Call him.” With that, she stands and leaves.
Sarah has been one of the best things to happen to me since my rookie year. She keeps me and my life going. I trust her.
That’s why I pull my phone and dial Fred right away. My mind is racing. Who else could be looking into Zah and why?
“Fred here, talk to me,” my PI answers the phone.
“Hey, this is Coswell.”
“Hey, buddy. I’m glad you called. You know us PIs have a certain way we move. If you’ve been in the business long enoughor if you’re any good, you can spot another investigator without a problem.
“I noticed the guy my first week in. Naturally, I was curious about him. I also wanted to keep an eye on him to see if he could lead me to Miss Nickels and cut out some of the work.
“His name is Hudson Willis. He works for the Manning family. You and Miss Nickels went to school with Gilbert Manning, am I right?”
“Yeah, we did. He was a buddy of mine once.”
Fred gives a long whistle. “Glad you moved on to better friends. Listen, from what I gather, Manning is trying to find Miss Nickels himself. I had been working on finding out why, but then your assistant called to cancel the job.
“I can back off if you like. However, after digging into Manning, I see he’s a piece of work. I wouldn’t want him sniffing around anyone I care about.”
I bite my fist. I should let this go. Zahirah is a grown woman. I have no right to interfere in her life.
“Fuck that. Keep an eye on them. If you find her, it’s not my business where she is. The new priority is her safety. If that’s not your thing, I’ll hire someone else.”
“Anything can be my thing for the right price. I’ll even give you a discount because my Spidey senses have been going off with this one.”
I snort. “Name your price,” I say and hang up.
It only takes a few minutes for him to text me his number. I make the wire transfer and scrub a hand up and down my face. I’ve been away from home for too long.
“Garret,” I call through the house, knowing he’s somewhere around.
