When the kiss finally breaks, I cup Marcus’s cheek, staring into his gorgeous eyes. “I love you,” I whisper. “I don’t know what I did to earn the two of you. I…don’t know how to do this. Cristian was the only man I’ve been with in a very long time, but I want to try. I am broken. I am the one who ended my marriage, but that doesn’t mean I'm not hurt.
“And my son is still missing. I need him here. I need to talk to him, to make sure he understands that I’m not trying to replace him or shut him out.
“Roman is a part of me. He is my soul, but…I want the two of you to become my heart. I want…so many things, I can’t even name them, but I hope you’ll give me this chance. That…you’ll forgive me for being so fucking broken.”
“You’re not broken,” Keegan says. “A little jagged, a little lost, but not broken. We’ll be here to help hold the pieces in place for you. You don’t have to earn our love or affection. You already have us, Love. All of us.”
Looking between them, I ask, “You really would have stepped aside if I chose him, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes,” Marcus answers. “We would have let you go. We’d still be your friends, your family, but we only want you to be happy… Do you regret it? Are you having second thoughts?” There’s fear in his eyes, and I lean in to kiss him softly, hoping to ease the worry.
“No. I don’t. I’m sure about what happened. I had to make the best choice, not just for me, but for Cristian and Roman, too. Cris deserves to be happy, and I don’t think we make each other happy anymore. Roman…he deserves to have parents who can be there for him without letting their own shit get in the way. He’s so smart and brave and fearless.
“We need to move on. To be able to be a family without the bullshit, and this is how we do it.” I smile at the two of them. “Roman is going to love you.”
“We hope so,” Marcus says. “We already love him.”
“He’ll probably threaten you, but that just means he cares.”
Keegan laughs a little. “He’s welcome to. We’ll never hurt him. You…are so much stronger than you think you are, Carter. We’ll follow you to the ends of the earth, not because we loveyou, or because you’re our Boss, but because you are someone worth dyingandliving for.”
More tears fall and I swipe them away. “Fuck. I don’t feel very strong right now.”
“It’s okay,” Marcus reassures me. “We’ll remind you, and be your strength until you believe it.”
I don’t fucking deserve them.
Exhaustion starts to tug at me and I yawn. They jump into action, helping me back into bed. I huff. “I hope Doc lets me sleep in a real bed soon. I want to hold you both.”
“Us too.” Keegan smooths his hand over my hair. “I want to show you how you deserve to be treated, Love. You and Marcus…you’re going to be very beautiful under me.”
My breath hitches, and my cock makes another valiant attempt to get hard, but the emotional exhaustion is too much.
“Cole is going to love getting daddy cuddles from all of us,” Marcus says gently as he tucks me into bed.
I smile a little. “I’m looking forward to it.” I look at the two of them. “Allof it.”
They each kiss me again. “Sleep, Love,” Keegan mutters. “We’ll be here with you.”
“You deserve rest, too.”
“Don’t worry, we will. Doc left the cot in here. We’ll be fine. Love you.” Marcus sneaks one more kiss in as my eyes blink open and closed slowly.
Do I deserve them? Probably not. But like hell am I going to give this up. My heart might be broken, but Keegan and Marcus are showing me there’s beauty in the aftermath of destruction. Amongst the ashes of what used to be, is a beginning that is just as sweet as the two men I want to live for. I only hope I can give them a fraction of the love they so effortlessly show me.
My eyes feel gritty as I blink them open. When my vision focuses, I’m surprised to see Tennant sitting in a chair next to me. He looks…terrible. Dark circles highlight his vivid ice blue eyes, and his hair is a mess. A pang goes through me, more painful than the actual physical pain I’m in, as I watch my love.
“T…” I try to speak, but the words get stuck in my throat, and all that escapes is a puff of air.
Immediately, he meets my gaze, the exhaustion clear in his eyes. “Fuck, Topolino,” he whispers. “You’re finally fucking awake.” He reaches off to the side and returns with water, which he helps me take some small sips of.
The liquid is cool and soothing, and it’s hard to not simply gulp it down. Ten lets me drink a little more before pullingthe water away. Swallowing, I say, “You’re here.” My words are scratchy, and it hurts a little.
He lets me have more water before finally setting it aside and taking my hand in his. “Of course, I’m here, Benjamin. There’s nowhere else I would rather be.”
I flinch at the sound of my name on his lips, and the pain the movement brings is negligible. “Hollis…”
“Hol is fine. He’s being taken care of. We talked, and he knows I need to be here with you. Hell, he’s the one that's been sitting with you when I couldn’t.”
