Knowing the only option that would keep the peace was to go, Jessica placed the folders she was holding on her desk and grabbed her handbag out of her drawer. So much for getting in some much-needed cramming over lunch.
A few minutes later, they were seated at a table in the corner of the busy coffee shop, having placed their orders at the counter. Jess held onto her mug of tea with both hands to warm them up after the chilly walk, while her mom stirred a package of sugar into her coffee. A sense of impatience came over Jess. “So? What did you want to tell me?”
She stopped just short of saying, ‘so badly it couldn’t wait until Saturday.’
Hilary crumpled up the napkin in her hand and set it to the side. “Winnie came to see me on Sunday. She was very upset. She’s worried you and Mike are going to get a divorce, and she told me about what Noah did. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. Your life is going to…” She glanced around and lowered her voice to a whisper. “Shit.” Then raising it again, she said, “I was planning to wait until after your big test, but I haven’t slept in four nights, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t just sit back and say nothing while you throw your life away.”
Oh God, this was the last thing Jess needed today—some big emotional, public scene with her mother. But apparently, it was happening anyway. She closed her eyes not knowing where to begin. “I didn’t want to tell you about Noah until after all was said and done with the Pattersons. They get home from Hawaii on Sunday.”
“Why? Why wouldn’t you want to tell me?”
“Because sometimes, I feel like you’re judging me as a parent, and I wanted to make sure we did everything right before I told you.”
Hilary’s head snapped back. “I don’t judge you. I support you and Mike, no matter what you decide.”
“I know you do, but sometimes, I also feel like you compare my kids to me, and it feels, in a way, like you’re comparing your parenting to mine.”
“I do no such thing.”
Raising an eyebrow, Jessica said, “Does this sound familiar? ‘You never would have thought of such a thing when you were that age.’”
A sheepish look crossed her mom’s face, then she pursed her lips. “I can see why you might take it that way, but I never meant it to be a comment on your parenting. You’re a wonderful mother. You know so much more than I did when I was raising you. It’s…just such a different world now. I can’t even imagine trying to bring up kids these days.”
Jess nodded, taking in her mom’s words. “Well, even if you didn’t mean it that way, I took it personally.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
Shrugging, she said, “I don’t know. I guess I was scared that if I did, you’d only confirm for me that you think I’m a bad mom.”
Hilary looked genuinely shocked, which was surprisingly comforting for Jess. “But you’re not a bad mom. You’re an amazing mom. You know I think that.”
Jess sighed. “I suppose I do. I just…I don’t know. Took it personally.”
“Well, don’t. That’s ridiculous,” her mom snapped.
Holding up both hands in surrender, Jess offered her mom a small grin. “Okay, I won’t.”
“Good. Now tell me about your marriage. And tell me the truth because I need to know just how bad things are.”
The server appeared at the table with their soups and biscuits. As soon as he set it down in front of Jess, she realized he’d given her the wrong one. She offered him a polite smile. “I ordered a cheese biscuit.”
“Oh, sorry about that,” he said, picking up the plate. “I’ll be right back.”
“Thank you.”
As soon as he left, her mom gave her a strange look. “Does it really matter which biscuit you eat? Now that poor man has to go back and exchange it.”
So,thiswas who taught her to be a doormat. “Yes, Mom. I paid for a cheese biscuit so I should be able to eat a cheese biscuit.”
Hilary gave her a conciliatory nod. “Okay. Fair enough.”
They stared at each other for a second, both of them knowing this wasn’t about a stupid biscuit. It was about how much Jess had changed in a very short period of time. “It’s okay to ask for what you want. In fact, it’s a good thing.”
Her mom’s eyes hardened, but then a smile crossed her face—one that made Jess feel very uncomfortable. “In that case, you won’t be angry at your daughter for asking me for money.”
“She did what?” Jess spit out.
“She asked me to help her out so she can still go to Stanford.”
