“I know, and I expect you to tell them that when you make your apology.”
Noah sighed and looked out the window, and Jess knew the thought of facing them must be filling him with dread. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he muttered. “I’mnevergoing to doanythingstupid again in my life.”
Jess almost chuckled at his sentiment. “If only that were possible.”
“Of course it’s possible. I just have to make better decisions from now on.” He narrowed his eyes. “Why? Do you think I’m always going to be a total screw-up?”
“No, Noah, I definitely don’t believe that. It’s just that, everyone screws up from time to time—granted, usually not to this extent, but still. Even adults. Even seemingly responsible, smart people make huge errors in judgment once in a while. It’s part of being human,” Jess said, glancing in her rear-view mirror, comforted to see that Mike was still behind her. “I’m talking about myself here, too. How I decided to go back to school without considering how it would impact you, Winnie, and Dad. And while I’m not sorry that I’m on a new path, I’m sorry about the way I did it. I know it’s been rough.” Her voice cracked and her nose tickled. “I can’t help but feel like maybe if I’d been around more lately, you wouldn’t have gotten yourself into this mess.”
Noah picked at a hangnail on his finger. “Nah, this wasn’t some cry for attention or something.”
“Then what was it? Because I really want to understand.”
“We just really wanted to throw an epic party.”
Jess tucked her lips between her teeth to stop herself from laughing, but it didn’t help. For some reason—maybe because so much had happened that day and it was late at night and she was exhausted—his teenage logic struck her as hilarious. She let out a chuckle that turned into a big belly laugh. Even as she was laughing, she knew she shouldn’t. But she couldn’t help it.
Noah started to laugh too. “We’re such jackasses.”
She nodded, then got herself under control, chastising herself for sending the wrong message. Maybe sheshouldhave let Mike drive him home. “I shouldn’t have laughed. This isn’t funny. None of this is funny. Other than the epic party thing.”
He shook his head. “God, we’reidiots.”
Reaching out, she ruffled his hair, like she used to do when he was little. “Here’s the deal, I don’t want you to think what you did was all right because, clearly it wasn’t. But I also don’t want you to be so upset about it, that you think you don’t have a good future ahead of you, because you do. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Good. I don’t know what Dad and I are going to do as far as consequences go, but it’s going to be bad for a while. I’m thinking that along with a major apology and paying to replace their door, you’re going to be doing their yard work free of charge for the next…year or so. Probably some other stuff too, like losing screens for a long time,” she said, pulling onto their street. “I’m honestly too tired to think about it right now. The point is, you messed up big time, but we’ll figure it out together, and you won’t ever do anything like it again, right?”
“Right. Never. I’ll never do anything even remotely like this again.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” As she pulled into the garage, she thought,one life lesson down, about a million more to go.
An hour later, when Jess crawled into bed, she found Mike lying on his side facing her. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “I know you’re tired, but I also thought you were maybe going to kiss me back there, in the police station. I was hoping we could finish that moment before we go to sleep.”
Jess lifted her head off the pillow and closed her eyes just as their lips met. The beautiful familiar feeling of his mouth meeting hers caused her tired heart to dance with joy. They kissed and cuddled for a few minutes until Mike pulled her close and whispered, “Let’s get some rest.”
Exhausted, but filled with relief, Jess turned around so her back was to Mike, then she snuggled up against his big, warm body. He wrapped his arm around her waist and she turned back a little so they could fall asleep cheek to cheek. But they didn’t fall asleep. Instead, their bodies knew what they needed. Time to reconnect, to be as close as two people can be. They needed to be together in the way they only were with each other. They made love slowly and deeply and carefully, saying all the things with their sighs and moans and touches that they needed to tell each other. That their love was every bit as strong as it always had been. That they were in this together now, no matter what happened. That they wanted to be here, in this moment, forever. It was passionate and raw and perfect. It was everything Jess had been craving for so many months. It was an apology and a love letter that could never be forgotten or torn up or tossed out.
When it was over, they drifted off to sleep wrapped up in each other’s arms, with smiles on their lips and love in their souls.
25
“It took me a long time to figure out we’re not meant to be perfect. We’re meant to be whole.”
~ Jane Fonda
“Mom, what are you doing here?” Jessica asked.
Her mother had just walked through the door of Fillion and Associates. She was wearing a raincoat and had her umbrella at her side. “I came to take you for lunch.”
Jess shifted uncomfortably from her position in front of the filing cabinet. “Oh Mom, it’s not a good time for me. Aaron’s in court all week and I have my—”
“—LSAT on Friday. I know, but this couldn’t wait.”
Jessica’s heart dropped. Something must be horribly wrong for her mother to drive all the way downtown to see her. “What happened?”
“I’m worried about you. I’m worried about your family. I know you’re busy, but I haven’t slept in days and I need to talk to you,” she said. “So get your coat. We’ll go have a bowl of that delicious soup you were telling me about.”
