“I can. In fact, I already do.” Mike wrapped her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze that almost took her breath away.
She hadn’t realized how much she missed such a small, simple thing as the warmth of holding his hand. She squeezed back, tears filling her eyes.
He let out a sigh of relief. “All I want is for us to be together, Jess. You and me against the world, like it used to be.” A look of panic crossed his face. “Except, obviously, not exactly like it used to be, because you were wildly unfulfilled, as you put it. But what I mean to say is, no matter what you’re going to do with your life, I want to be there for it.”
Jess wiped tears from her cheeks. “You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that.” She gulped down a big breath. “I’ve felt so horribly alone this entire time. Not just since I decided to go back to school. Before that too. I felt like I didn’t matter, you know?”
Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, Mike pulled her in for a side hug and dropped a kiss on her head. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to feel alone. Not for one second. I really fell down on the job as far as being a supportive husband goes.” He kissed her again, then added, “If I could go back, I’d do so much differently. I’d be a better husband. I’d notice you weren’t okay.”
Jess leaned her head on his shoulder and let the tears flow. Tears of relief and love and leftover anguish. Tears of finally being heard and understood by her husband. “And I would have spoken up and told you just how desperate I was feeling, instead of just trying to go on as if everything was fine when it wasn’t.”
“Why didn’t you feel like you could tell me what was going on?” he asked. “Was it something I do that makes you feel like you can’t talk to me?”
Jess sat up and looked at him. “No, I don’t know. Maybe. Yeah.” She grinned at him and he grinned back even though his eyes were still searching for the truth. “You have this way of making things seem so simple, like when I did say I wasn’t myself, you told me that nobody raising teenagers is happy. And while that may be true for the most part, somehow, I let that make me think I shouldn’t expect to be thriving at this point in my life. Does that make sense?”
Nodding, Mike said, “Totally. I should have been paying more attention.”
“I should have been more honest.”
“I’m going to pay attention from now on. I’m going to check in with youa lotto make sure you’re doing all right.” He smiled at her. “So much, that you’re going to get sick of it.”
Jess grinned at him, and was about to lean in for a kiss when the door to the back area opened, and interrupted their moment. Liam walked out, flanked on either side by his parents. He was hunched over and kept his eyes on the floor as he shuffled to the exit. As angry as Jess was, she couldn’t help but want to hug him as she took in his tear-stained face. His dad poked him hard on the shoulder and said, “Apologize to the Halloways.”
Liam stopped and looked up at them, his voice cracking so hard, Jess could barely make out what he was saying. “I’m really sorry. We were just being stupid.”
Tears filled Jessica’s eyes. “Everybody makes mistakes.”
“Not like this, they don’t,” his dad said, pushing his son forward with his fingertips. “You’re going to be paying for this for so much longer than you know.”
When the doors slid shut behind them, Jess turned to Mike. “Yikes. I wouldn’t want to be in that car on the ride home.”
“Speaking of the ride home, who takes the boy?”
* * *
Jess glanced over at her son, who had his eyes closed and his face toward the passenger window. In the end, she told Mike she wanted to take him, if for no other reason than because Mike had been the one sitting at the police station alone for hours. The truth was, though, she was desperate to be there for Noah.
He opened his eyes and looked over at her. “Why aren’t you yelling at me?” he asked.
“Would it help? It’s not like that would magically reverse time or something.”
“True, but weirdly, I think it might make me feel better.” His voice shook and he closed his eyes again. “I’m a fucking moron.”
“Language, Noah,” she said, then she realized if there ever was a time for swearing, it was right now. “You fucked up. In fact, you really frigging fucked up. But we’ll get past this. This one event doesn’t define you, you know?”
“Doesn’t it? That cop said it would follow me for years.”
“Well, she’s not wrong. The neighbors certainly won’t have the same opinion of you for a while. Or of Dad and me for that matter. You’ll have to work hard to prove you’re not some delinquent that they need to worry about.”
Noah buried his face in his hands. “Oh man, why did we think that was a good idea? We clearly were never going to get away with it.”
“Sometimes things seem like such a good idea at first, but the reality is totally different. That’s why it’s so important to think things through before you jump into something.” The irony of her lecture didn’t escape her, but she went on in the name of ‘teachable moments’ everywhere. “You didn’t think about how your actions would affect others. Like Dad and me, or the Pattersons. They probably won’t feel as safe when they come back from their trip, at least for a while.”
“But they should feel safe. The cops were theresofast.”
“True, but it’s different when someone has actually tried to break in versus preparing for the possibility. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, I guess. But I don’t want them to feel scared.”
