“We can talk,” I agree.
He swoops out an arm in a gesture for me to lead the way, so I go, knowing I need to place distance between us and set the ground rules. I don’t want to be taken advantage of and if I don’t like something, I want the stability of knowing I am in control. I head through to the kitchen and get another bottle of water from the fridge for Killian which I place on the side before I reach into the freezer for the bag of frozen peas. I wrap them in a towel before I hand them over to him.
“You sit there,” I point to the chair on the other side of the table, “I’m sitting here.” I point to the chair directly in front of me.
He nods in agreement and the chair legs scrape across the floor. He sits down with a groan, as if his whole body is in agony and the way his brow creases and a grimace crosses his mouth tells me I am right.
“Did he hurt you else where too?”
“No.” He puts the peas to his face, “That’s a different story.”
Concern is pushing away all my defenses. I want to go to him, check him over and make him better, there’s no foundation to the feeling, just a need that I have to ignore for my own wellbeing.
I place my hands on my thighs instead, the thin material of my leggings allowing the bite of my nails to press against my skin.
“What did you tell him?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Not everything,” He meets my eyes, “But what I should have told him months ago.”
My breath lodges in my throat.
“Months?”
He sighs heavily, “It was never supposed to happen, Savannah. I was never meant to fall in love with you.”
Oh my god.
“What are you talking about?” I swallow thickly.
He chuckles and shakes his head, “You loved me too, you know?”
“How was I supposed to know that if you never told me?” I snap at him.
“I was trying to protect you,” His dark eyes hold mine, “I hurt you and I will regret it for the rest of my life.”
“So why now?” I press.
“Because I can’t fucking breathe without you.”
Chapter Fifty
How do you tell someone who doesn’t remember their feelings for you that they did in fact, love you?
I see it, I see the tie that binds us, it’s right there but it’s out of reach. Even if she does remember it all, I wouldn’t blame her if she no longer loved me afterwards.
“I am weak, Savannah, for you I always have been. I held on for a little too long before we ever fell into this, I watched you and I followed you. Fuck, you could have said jump, and I’d ask how high. But that’s all I allowed it to be. You’re too young for me, my best friend’s little sister, it was wrong of me to want you the way I did.”
Her lashes flutter as she fidgets in the chair opposite me.
“But I did want you, and had done for so long, I should have known I was going to snap.”
“How did it – what happened to make you snap?”
“You had a date,” Even the mention of it makes my blood heat inside of my veins, “You dressed up real pretty for him and you went out and I couldn’t fucking stand it.”
She frowns but remains silent, waiting for my next words.
“And I didn’t understand it either,” I explain, “Because you wanted me too. And there we were, you on one side and me on the other and I just snapped. I waited for you to return.”
