Visions of my eighteen-year-old self and the first boy I ever loved were locked away after he left me, and my broken heart stranded on the sidewalk. Now, they were the only thing occupying my thoughts. I hadn’t even confirmed it was him as I let my past run wild through my head.
Taking a deep breath in, my senses were flooded with a faint scent of home. Fresh, bright, and like all of my favorite forgotten memories. My eyes flicked upward through my lashes for a glimpse of the man standing above me.
It was him, alright, but not exactly how I remembered. He wasn’t the same boy I expected to see, with a lopsided grin and shaggy brown hair. In his place stood a man with the same tan skin and kind eyes, but who had gone through what I could only assume was a late in life growth spurt because he loomed over me. Even under his jacket, my eyes fixed on the way his light blue button up strained over his chest, with the top two buttons flicked open.
He filled the entire space around us, so all I could see was him, and all the air seemed to vanish. At record speed, I gathered my dropped books and shot up to face him. Forcing myself not to blink, I held his gaze, in case he was an apparition that would disappear the second my eyes closed.
At eighteen, I thought Theodore Beckett hung the moon and stars and that he did it for my own personal benefit. He was kind and funny, the type of boy that could make you feel important by looking at you, and he loved me fiercely.
Until he didn’t.
We had spent most of our high school years attached at the hip, swearing to anyone that asked that we were only friends. Until the summer before our Junior year, we were working together at a local ice cream shop, and somewhere between the closing shifts and warm nights, I fell for him as the heat rolled through the town. It was easy to do when he spent his time doting on me even though we were “just friends”.When I mustered up the courage to admit that I had feelings for him, he pulled me into his arms, surprising me with one simple word. “Finally.”
There was a faint chuckle that escaped present day Theo, bringing my focus back to him. My mind was completely blank. “Theodore,” I breathed, as all other words escaped me. I was stammering over my next sentence.
How was this even possible?
I hadn’t seen him in seventeen years, if my quick mental math served me right. How was it that he was in front of me and halfway across the globe, no less?
“I… How…” Maybe if I shook my head fast enough, it would erase away the figure of him like an Etch a Sketch. A smile broke out across his face, lighting up the area.
“Lennon.” The deep timber of his voice was drenched in nostalgia. I returned his smile with a small one of my own.
“It’s been a long time.” For some reason, the words came out in barely more than a whisper.
“Seventeen years too long, if you ask me,” he quipped.
My math was right.
He stepped forward as if to reach out for a hug, but stopped suddenly. I didn’t mean to flinch, but he dropped his hands back to his side at the sight of my recoil. “If I knew it only took me coming halfway around the world to see you again, I would have been here a lot sooner,” he said, as his eyes filled with humor.
A surprising blush crawled its way up the back of my neck. “Well, I just got here, so it would have been a waste of time.” I scrunched my nose up at him. The easy banter flowed out of me as if it never dried up and left. He threw his head back as a deep laugh burst through his lips, causing his eyes to crinkle shut. My smile widened as the sound enveloped my senses, and for a moment, I let the warmth of his laugh wash over me.
“Good to know. What are you doing here?” His eyes bored into me, shining like a clover covered field in the morning sun. He was so much the same and yet someone I hardly recognized.
A sharp jawline replaced the familiar boyish roundness, with just a shadow of a beard and high cheekbones. He no longer had the shaggy brown hair that I used to push back out of his eyes;instead, his hair was cropped shorter and swept off his forehead. Every feature had grown up with him, everything but his eyes. The kindest green eyes I had ever encountered.
I chewed the inside of my lip before answering, “No reason; it’s good to travel. You know, see the sights outside of our hometown.” Definitely not trying to get my life back together after my husband died, of course.
There was a slight raise in his eyebrow, and I was worried he could see right through my words. I wondered if he knew I had been married or that I’m a widow.
A beat passed before he asked the logical next question, the type of question that had my heart pounding in my chest. “That’s great. Who are you here with?” It was like a knife was plunged into my heart.
“It’s just me.” My voice was flat and lacked any emotion. I couldn’t even fake it for strangers. Or even strangers that I once knew it seemed.
We were still on the sidewalk, people weaved around us and shot off looks since we blocked most of the path. I ignored the glares while he glanced down at his watch.
“Shoot.” The word left his lips, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Lennon, I’m running late for a meeting.” I opened my mouth to apologize for keeping him, and I moved to the side, allowing him to leave without even giving it a second thought.
He’s not here for you. You’re wasting his time. My mind chanted the words at me in a quick succession.
“But you said you’re here by yourself. Are you free for dinner, then? Tonight?” The hopefulness of his voice was laced throughout the words. My gut pushed me to say no, a knee jerk reaction to keep everyone away, but I’m here to be better.
I accepted this was a solo trip that would be filled with dinners for one and lonely conversations with myself in the mirror. There was no amount of preparation I could have done that would get me ready for a dinner with Theo after seventeen years of no contact.
“Oh, I don’t want to mess up any plans you may have. I’m… I’m sure you’re busy.” The words rushed out of me. The morning air breezed around us as a shiver rolled its way up my spine, but I wasn’t entirely sure if it was from the cold.
“Lennon, please have dinner with me. I would love to catch up with you.” His gentle words coaxed me into acceptance. “I also want to hear why you’re all the way over here by yourself. I never thought I’d ever see you go so far without at least Abby.” A playful smile pulled at the corner of his lips. I forgot how well he once knew me, as that would have been the right answer up until recently.
