Luke: *full screen of skull and crossbones emoji*
Epilogue
“Now, that’s my brand of crazy.”
-Carolina
I waltz and shimmy down the streets of Flamingo Cove, half-tempted to break out into song. Who gives a shit that I’m not living in a Disney or Hallmark movie? You cannot wipe the smile off my face that came from eleventy-million orgasms since I got married on Friday.
A stranger passes me on the street. I give him some jazz hands. He laughs and keeps walking.
Maybe there’s something to this bursting into spontaneous happiness on the sidewalk. Maybe I could spread love and joy throughout the world?
But first, I have a big family dinner to attend.
Then, The Sex.
With my husband.
My husband who told me to meet him at Bellissimo for a surprise.
I stop at the front door. The ordinarily bright outside lights of the place are dimmed. There’s a “Closed” sign in the window.
It’s weird because I know Sol has Sunday hours.
I try the door, and it opens easily.
Before I can pull out my phone and text the owner of this fine establishment, a large group of people pop into my eye line and yell, “Surprise!”
“What the fuck?”
“Language,Mija!” Mama chastises from her position in the bar area next to Papa. She’s wearing her latest belly dancing outfit. He thankfully left the shotgun at home.
Celia, Wysdom, and Faith are on me in a hot second. All talking at once.
“We wanted to surprise you with a bridal shower…”
“…slash wedding reception…”
“…combined with family dinner…”
I hold up my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’m surprised. Has anyone seen my husband?”
The crowd laughs. I spy my brother Luke and my brother-in-law Flint deep in conversation with Rand, who’s trapped in a corner.
“At least Luke’s not calling himKestrelanymore. That’s a win,” Wysdom nudges me. “Hashtag Randolina Rules!”
Everyone claps. Glasses clink. I sneak through the press of bodies to close in on the men in our lives.
“I know 42 places to bury a body around here,” Luke warns. “Rand.”
I clear my throat. “Um, those are my secret body hiding places, little brother. You can’t use those to scare my husband into submission. Plus, I’m pretty sure he knows 75 chemicals that would melt a body into nothingness, so there would be nothing to bury.”
Rand raises his eyebrows. “It’s more like ten.”
Luke pales. “Is that true?”
I shrug and give Luke an “I’m watching you” two-fingered salute. “You heard my husband. He knows ten chemicals that will melt a body and all the DNA evidence!”
