I opened the backpack and started pulling out containers of food. I’d packed us a snack lunch, my favorite kind of picnic. We had cheese, crackers, pepperoni, grapes, olives, and some chocolate chip cookies I’d bought at the store.
“This looks amazing,” Phoebe said.
I produced paper plates and bottles of water, and we started to eat. She sat cross-legged across from me, rolling a pepperoni around a piece of cheese like a funny little burrito. “I’ve never seen anyone eat it that way before,” I said as I stacked a piece of cheese and a pepperoni on top of a cracker.
“It’s good. You should try it.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” I told her as I ate my cracker.
Minnie crawled between us, looking from Phoebe to me with her most pleading expression. Blue sat beside me, watching us with his head resting between his front paws. Phoebe slipped a covert pepperoni to Minnie before giving me a sheepish look, and I rolled my eyes. Generally, I toed a hard line when it came to feeding human food to my dogs, but I seemed to be soft where Phoebe was concerned.
We snacked and chatted until all the food was gone. I packed up our trash, and we lay on the blanket together. Minnie snuggled beside me, her furry head resting against my thigh. Blue lay at the edge of the blanket, preferring his own space. His leash was looped around my wrist for safekeeping.
“It looks so much the same,” Phoebe said, sliding her hand into mine. “And yet, so different.”
“More dogs?” I teased. Occasionally, we’d brought Margery’s dog Comet with us as teenagers, but usually it had been just the two of us.
“There’s that, but maybe it’s just that Ifeeldifferent. I used to be so worried someone would see us. I was terrified my family would find out about us and what they’d say. It was exhausting trying to keep myself hidden.”
“How did they take it when you came out?” I asked.
“A lot better than I’d feared,” she said. “My dad went outside to work in the yard while he processed it, and my mom got really awkward and talked too much. But neither of them said anything awful, and after they’d gotten over the shock, they both told me they loved and supported me. It took them a while to get used to seeing me with another woman, but they came around eventually.”
“I’m glad.”
“Do you ever think about the fact that no one who knew us then knows we were together?” Phoebe asked.
“One person knew,” I told her.
She rolled toward me, fingertips trailing up and down my arm. “Who? Did you tell your mom?”
“It was your grandma.”
Phoebe’s eyes went wide. “Oh my God. You told her?”
I shook my head. “She guessed.”
“What? No way.” Phoebe drew back, her expression somewhere between shock and outrage.
“She didn’t know at the time,” I clarified. “It wasn’t until years later, probably around the time you came out, I guess. You’d been up for a visit, and I had made myself scarce while you were here, like I always did. After you left, Margery called me on it. She said she’d always wondered how you and I went from best friends to not speaking, and suddenly, it all made sense to her.”
“Holy shit,” Phoebe said. “I had no idea. Why didn’t she ever ask me about it or tell me she knew?”
“I think she didn’t want to overstep. She wanted you to tell her on your own.”
“I never told anyone,” Phoebe said quietly. “Not a single person, at least not until this week.”
“I never did either.”
“That’s weird, isn’t it?” She sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees. “I mean, you were so important to me. Our relationship was so foundational to me figuring out my identity. Andno oneknew.”
“Well, your grandma did, and I think she would approve of what we’re doing now. She always tried so hard to invite me over when you were in town,” I told her.
Phoebe glanced at me. “You think she wanted us to be together?”
“Why wouldn’t she? She adored you, and she and I were pretty close too.”
“So, are we…you know, together?” she asked, still watching me intently.
