And then it had turned from amazing to awful, all in the blink of an eye.
Worse, I still didn’t understand why Jules said it had to be that way.
Daddy handed me a slice of lemon, and I squeezed it into my tea, pretty sure I was the only one drinking something warm and comforting while the upbeat music pounded and Diva shook her toosh and the room seethed with sexy, happy boys and their Daddies drinking mimosas and eating crisp bacon and just… just…
I sniffled.
It just wasn’t fair.
“Talk to me, beautiful.”
I blinked fast to keep my vision from blurring and my glasses from fogging up. Jules may not really want me the way I’d always wished he would, but I knew he liked it when I watched Diva perform. Everyone was watching her, but somehow, even though she did a great job of working the crowd, she’d always seemed to know whether she had my attention or not when I was in the audience. And I liked making Jules happy. I’d give him, or Diva, all the attention he wanted. I’d give him anything.
I’d offered. Well, assumed. Because he’d been so good at making me feel like it was real that I’d fallen for it. And it wasn’t fair, because it had always been real to me, but… but there wasn’t anything I could do to change things. I was supposed to be enjoying brunch with Daddy and appreciating Jules’—I mean Diva’s—sexy antics as she twirled around the dining room lip syncing for her life to an old Mariah song that half the brunch crowd was belting out right along with her, so I should do that so I didn’t ruin the day for the two of them, too.
And really, Jules was right. I’d already known he wasn’t my boyfriend, so the awkward reminder he’d had to give me last night about how our “relationship” here at the hotel was all just a lie shouldn’t have hollowed me out like this.
I’d just… I’d forgotten. Not just forgotten that it was fake, but forgotten how good Jules was at faking things in general. He always put on the face he let the world see, whether it was in full drag or as his own fabulously outrageous self, but he didn’t do that with me, when it was just the two of us in private.
But we hadn’t been in private, had we? We’d been with Daddy this whole time, ever since the not-real-but-it-had-felt-like-it first kiss… and like Jules had had to spell out for me, the whole time, he’d just been putting on a show.
God, poor Jules. I must have made him feel so awkward.
I knew I had, because the awkward feeling had still been lingering between us when we’d woken up this morning… on separate sides of the bed, with Daddy between us, warm and cuddly and fake. And me and Jules? We were never awkward.
I sniffled again.
Daddy sighed, his hand resting heavy on my back, and I looked up at him quickly.
“Sorry,” I said, grabbing for the… oh, toast. There was toast on my plate. I tried to smile. I’d been ignoring him, and he was so nice, and I didn’t want him to leave. “Um, it’s a nice brunch.”
“It is,” Daddy agreed, frowning a little. “But is that all you want to eat, sweetheart?”
I didn’t even remember ordering it.
I certainly hadn’t touched it.
And no, I really didn’t.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. I put it back down without taking a bite. I just couldn’t. “I don’t think I can eat it, but… but I can pay for it, if—”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” he said, cutting me off. He smiled, taking one of my hands in both of his… and making things just the tiniest bit better, just from that, even though they were still awful. “We had a long night, little lamb. I know you didn’t touch the food that was delivered while you were sleeping, so I figure it might take more than a piece of toast to build your strength back up. That’s the only reason I was asking.”
“Oh, right.” I nodded because I knew he was right—and even if he wasn’t, I didn’t want to disagree with Daddy, not when it felt so good to have him care about me like that—but I still couldn’t make myself care about eating, or anything else at all, not while there was still this big cloud hanging over my friendship with Diva.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” Daddy said firmly, still holding my hand, but now doing that soothing rubbing thing to it, too.
“Sorry, Daddy. I’m just…”
My free hand flapped in Diva’s general direction, which was as close as I could get to putting my thoughts and feelings into words. Except even if I had been able to find the words, it wasn’t like I could have confided in Daddy about it without coming clean about the lie Jules and I had told him.
Oh God, somehow, that realization made it all even worse.
I liked Daddy.
Maybe, as silly as it sounded since I had so little experience and I’d just met him yesterday, but maybe I could even love him, if I ever got the chance.
And I agreed with what Jules had said last night, that Daddy seemed to really like us, too.
