“Well, actually, I suppose he could have been a long-lost relative or some type of eerily accusative doppelgänger,” Claude laughed at his own attempt to ease the tension. “But he had your face, save for the longer hair.”
“Yeah, that’s Troian.” I affirmed, my eyes staring back at him so sharply that if they were able to, they’d easily cut the glass put before them. “What did he want?”
“I don’t think he knew you even came here, not by the conversation.”
“Then how the hell did he happen to find this exact group?”
“I’m assuming the same way you did?” Claude huffed with a smile. “A quick search for a local grief group and we’re going to pop up.”
I suppose that made more sense than the plot I was concocting in my head, the one where Troian was so obsessedwith making things okay between us again that he was hunting down every fucking place I’d ever been and trying to infiltrate it as a way to either irritate me into submission to hear him out or to make his way into my life by any means necessary. Claude was right, that’s how I’d found the group, just by searching for local help that I was desperate to find, desperate to have heal the dark spots on my soul. Luckily, it’d worked. I just wasn’t sure that it could do the same for my brother and I’s relationship.
As I’d explained during my turn talking in the group, Troian had betrayed me in the worst way. And I’d resigned to the fact that there was nothing I could do to help him get through his substance abuse. I’d tried and tried repeatedly, and I’d been repeatedly scorned, the mental burns still relevant on my psyche. I wanted to accept that he had changed, that he was different now. But I was scared as fuck that I’d be scorched again and I’d have to start all over.
“Do you…know why he was looking for a place like this?”
“The reason everyone does,” Claude said with a sympathetic smile, releasing his hold on my shoulder. “He is looking for someone to talk to, to listen to his story and to find a way to move on from it. I truly don’t think he knew you even came here, Thayer. He didn’t mention you at all, just that he was hoping the group was open to new faces, which I told him we were. Luckily, this was right when the center opened, so no one saw him and thought he was you.”
“Well that’s a relief, I guess.” I scoffed, running a hand through my black hair.
“What I’m trying to say, is that clearly both of you need to talk about what’s happened between you over the years. You’re both yearning to speak about the other but for reasons that are very valid to both of you, you haven’t been able to break down the barrier to make it happen.”
Fuck, I hated how good Claude was at reading people’s problems back to them. While I felt lighter having spoken mytruth and my fears to the group, I couldn’t deny his words. I needed to speak to Troian about everything and I needed to be open and willing to hear Troian’s side of things just as badly.
It was finally time for me to learn about what my twin had been through in the five years we’d gone no contact.
Chapter 5
My sleep scheduled was fucked.After sleeping so long the day before when Bas had gratefully woken me up on my day off, and then going to group earlier this morning, I knew I was crazy to sacrifice my sleep by agreeing to meet with Troian before my shift tonight. But after talking to the group and then speaking with Claude, I needed to do it now, while it felt fresh and like my veins needed the release that only speaking to my brother could alleviate.
So, I’d texted him and asked if he was available to talk things through for a little of a late lunch at the diner I frequented because it was so close to the apartment, as well as the blood center that Bas worked at. I had no idea what the hell Troian had been filling his time with since he’d arrived in Piper, so he’d agreed to meeting me at the diner for lunch without much of a fuss.
I’d arrived early, after taking a quick shower at the apartment after group, and after catching Bas up on what I’d learned from Claude about my twin. Bas, being the best friend that he was, offered to go with me to the diner, since he was off for the day and had the time to spare, but I declined. Whatever neededto be said between Troian and me needed to remain that way. I’d hate for Troian to feel like I was weaponizing the validity of my side of things by having Bas there to defend me. Our exchange needed to be as neutral as possible so that it could, hopefully, warrant a positive outcome.
Maybe it was a good thing that I had work later, in case I needed an out. Granted, I wasn’t needed at work until after the sun had disappeared to its roost for the night, but I could always claim I needed to get some sleep in before that. Which I probably needed before heading to work tonight, but I’d be willing to bet money that I wouldn’t be able to snooze once Troian and I got everything out that we’d been keeping to ourselves for the last five years.
“Can I get you anything while you wait, hon?”
The polite woman of middle age gave me a ruby slippered grin as she acknowledged me from the booth I’d been guided to just a few minutes ago. I gave her a head tilt, trying to shed the nerves that were keeping me reserved.
“I’ll wait for my company to arrive, if that’s okay.”
“Of course,” She smiled back. “I’ll check back in a couple minutes.”
“Thank you so much.”
She left me with my thoughts again, receding from my table. But no sooner had she vacated the area, I looked beyond her frame to see that Troian had just walked in, scanning over the confines of the diner until his eyes landed on me.
A completely unwavering, emotionless expression stood on my brother’s face, or rather the face that we shared, as he ambled over to where I sat in the back of the diner. Steeling the reserves of my emotions for what was about to transpire, I rolled my shoulders back as Troian paused before the booth.
“Hey.” It was a simple hello, but the hollowness of it made me feel a bit guilty for having had refused his previous attempts to talk things out.
“Hey,” I choked back, gesturing for him to take a seat. When he obliged, I couldn’t take the silence right away. “Thanks for making the time.”
“It’s not like I have a lot going on at the moment.” Troian grunted as he got settled in the booth.
My brother, my mirror image, folded his hands on the table, and I sighed inwardly. It’d been so long since we’d been this close, other than when he’d ambushed the shit out of me when he’d stumbled into town right at the exact time Bas had gotten admitted in the hospital following the riot on the Gossamer Avenue blood center. Troian always did have impeccable timing for arriving in the middle of a shitstorm.
That day he’d first knocked on the door of my apartment when I’d gotten the call about Bas’ condition, considering that I was his emergency contact, I’d been so taken aback by his appearance on my doorstep that I felt like I’d barely registered it. I hadn’t even really heard a word he’d said, although my brain had taken the time to register that his mouth was moving. I had just blurted out that I had an emergency to tend to and if the reason behind him being in Piper was important, he was more than welcomed to follow me to the hospital.
