“I’ll go and ask you friends, then,” I say, pushing my plate away and moving to stand.
Her arm shoots out and her eyes bore into me. “Please don’t.” I expected her to sound angry, but her voice holds no heat…just pain.
Sitting back down, I watch her in silence. Her hand goes to her forehead and begins rubbing it in obvious frustration.
“Do you want to go to my cabin and talk?” I offer, because the dining hall is not the place for a heart-to-heart.
River nods, shoves one last piece of sausage in her mouth and stands. I don’t hesitate to follow her. My eyes stray towards her friends, who are still eating. Cheddar is the only one looking our way, and she gives me a small nod, which I’m not sure how to interpret.
Opening my cabin door, I usher River inside before she changes her mind. She stands awkwardly as I clear off my bed and sit down. I really need to organise myself better.
“River, please tell me,” I say quietly, not wanting to startle her. She looks like she’s somewhere else entirely.
Swiping off her beret, River takes two steps over to me and sits down. There is only a handful of centimetres between us, and my heart gives a couple of extra hard thuds because of it.
“I don’t want to tell you, because I think you’ll end up agreeing with Kit. Hell, I think I agree with her, and that is really fucking sad.”
“So Kit—”
“Basically told me I was a piece of shit for dating you. I’m only good for fucking women, and leaving.”
I reel back in shock. Kit, one of River’s best friends, said that to her?
“You can’t honestly believe that, River?”
She scoffs. “Of course I do. She’s right. I asked you out because you hurt my feelings, and I’m so narcissistic I needed to prove you wrong. We both know it, Cleo.”
“Whoa, okay, let’s just take a second.” I pause, because this is a lot. River is in full self-hate mode, and I just can’t listen to her destroy herself like that.
“A second won’t change the truth. I think it’s best if—”
“No. I’m not going to let you finish that sentence.” I know exactly where she’s trying to take this conversation, and it’s not happening. “Who is in this relationship?” I ask, even though it’s not quite a relationship yet.
“Me and you,” she stutters.
“Exactly. Me and you. Not Kit, or Boot, or any other person for that matter. Now, I agree it took a little convincing for me to agree to dating you.”
She goes to say something, but I plant my palm solidly across her lips to shut her up. Her eyes widen, and if I’m not mistaken, her mouth curls up in a little smile.
“We talked it through, River. Sure, we’ve only had one date, but correct me if I’m wrong, we both decided we wanted a second. Wasn’t that the whole reason you booped the pause button? For us to talk?”
She nods her head, and I feel her calm down a little.
“Us dating isn’t about you changing who you are, River. I don’t want that. I want you to be you, however that manifests. But there is a big difference between changing and growing. Also, we have the absolute right to make different choices if something comes along that questions our normal. It’s how humans evolve. So, do you feel like you’re trying to change who you are, or are you making different choices?”
She mumbles something unintelligible under my hand. Her eyes search mine, looking for judgement, finding none. I can feel her shoulders relax slightly, feel her breathing slow.
When I lower my palm, she takes a shaky breath. “I’m making choices,” she says quietly.
And then, before I can respond, her lips are on mine.Warm, soft, and commanding. Momentarily stunned, I take an extra second to engage my body, but when I do it responds in kind, because…it’s River Dawson, and I’m inexplicably drawn to every facet of her.
Her breath hits my top lip as she exhales through her nose, and it drives me insane. Opening my mouth, I cordially invite her in to take the kiss to the next level. My insides are heating up, and the familiar twinge between mylegs tells me I’m seconds away from ripping her uniform from her delicious body.
To my dismay, River brushes her tongue against mine before bringing the kiss to an end. Sitting there dazed, I have to force my eyes to focus on her. My lips feel swollen, my breath is ragged, and my entire body is humming with want.
She’s leaning back with a shy smile and her breaths a little faster than normal. She looks at me like I’m the most important thing in the world, and it makes my chest ache.
“Was that okay?” she asks. All I can do is nod. “I don’t want to have sex with you.” She beams and…what?
