“Oh. Okay…”
She stifles a chuckle, but not very successfully. “Obviously I want to have sex with you, Cleo. What I mean is, it’s not my end goal, you know?”
“I have no idea what’s happening.” My body is still humming from that far too brief zinger of a kiss she planted on me.
She takes both my hands and looks into my eyes. “The reason I know you are different, Cleo, is because I’m not constantly thinking about getting you into bed. I want to talk to you, and laugh with you. That’s never happened before. Kit…Kit wasn’t entirely wrong. The girls have only ever seen one version of me…the one I allow them to see. It’s no surprise she thinks I’m being reckless, and maybe I am. Hell, I was ready to call this whole thing off a few seconds ago, but then you do that thing.”
“What thing?”
“The thing where you say something that undoes whatever shit is running through my head. I want a second date, Cleo. I want to make different choices if it means we get to spend more time together.”
“I think you know how I feel about it. But can we circle back to you not wanting to have sex with me?”
She laughs, a loud and bright laugh. “We will sleep together again, but I can promise you with absolute assurance, it’s not my end goal. It was when I suggested this, and we both know it. But after our date, something has changed. I like this,” she says, waving between us. “I want more.”
“And what about your friends?” We need to be realistic. River relies on her friends more than anyone in the world, and there will be no us if she can’t get right with them. River needs her people, and I want that for her. Honor will always have my back when things get tough. River will need the same from her family, too.
“I’m going to talk to Kit later. Just the two of us. It’s clear there are some issues we need to iron out.”
Brushing my thumb across her hand, I smile. “So, we’re still on for date number two?”
“Yes, and I have an idea.”
“Oh, do I get to know?” I’m desperately trying to push my libido back down, but it’s not easy. After all my blustering about setting boundaries where sex is concerned, I think I’m going to be the one to push them, and River will be the one to reinforce them.
The irony isn’t lost on me. I came on this ship to investigate a story. Instead, I’ve found myself falling for a woman who makes me forget my own rules.
And the worst part? I don’t think I mind.
“I’m not going to say, until I know I can pull it off. Now, do you want to tell me what you wanted to talk to me about?”
Oh Jesus, the whole Benson thing. God, I need to focus.
“Yes, I do, but you need to move away from me because I‘m distracted.”
She cocks her eyebrow and grins at me. “Why, Cleo Carter, pull your head out of the gutter. We’re going steady.”
I snort and push her playfully. She slides to the end of my bed, which opens up a foot between us. Ideally, I’d like her a few metres away, but we haven’t got a lot of space to work with.
Shaking my head, I get into reporter mode. “Benson,” I say. River furrows her eyebrows. “Would you feel comfortable telling me why he has such a grudge against you?”
She rubs her palms up and down her thighs several times. “Um, it’s not going to make me look great, to be honest.”
19
River
I can’t catch afucking break. If it’s not Kit reaming me out, its emotional conversations with Cleo, which strip me raw and churn up my emotions, or it’s about a bloke who really fucking hates me because I can’t keep it in my pants.
“No judgement here,” she says.
“Right. Let’s see if you still feel the same after I tell you,” I grumble. “I’d just joined the Queen Elizabeth. It was maybe a week or two after, I think. Anyway, I went out with Kit and Cheddar to a club. One of our usual hangouts.”
Cleo nods and gestures for me to keep going. I really don’t want to.
“I picked up a woman and went back to what I thought was her place.”
Cleo’s eyes get a little wider, and I can see the conclusion she’s coming to.
