I made a deal with myself in the dark that Abbey and I were purely professional from this point on. I would not cross the line with her again.
Chapter Twelve
Abbey
I sat on the plane to Melbourne by myself, Friday at midday, having booked my flight two hours earlier than Nick’s. I planned to sort out Jack Fife without Nick and get back home before dinner.
As I sat, staring at the safety leaflet and the tray table ‘in the upright position’, I could not stop thinking back on the week that was. As far as weeks of my life where everything was a fucking nightmare went, this one was right up there.
Tuesday had been awkward after the family dinner. I spent the day avoiding him, only for him to amp up his charm. He was funny, smart and intoxicatingly beautiful. At work he listened to my opinion like that of an expert. I felt intelligent and important.
In the afternoon, a phone call came through from Ella’s school, asking me to submit the paperwork for the junior student exchange program. The principal was a lovely lady in her early sixties and, because Ella never got in trouble, we had an uncomplicated relationship.
‘Hi, Sue. I’m so sorry I haven’t returned them or the deposit. I’ve been busy at work, and it slipped my mind.’ In truth, I’d had to wait for a pay cycle to come around to scrounge together half of the deposit.
‘Abbey, that’s no trouble. One of the reasons I’m calling is to let you know that we’ve had a donation from a business, who is offering to cover the costs of the program in full.’
‘What? Really?’
‘Yes. The school always delights in finding benefactors.’
‘That’s amazing, Sue. You guys must be thrilled. Which business?’
‘I’m sorry?’
‘Which business donated the money? Did they just cover Ella’s?’ I turned and looked through the glass at the man sitting at the desk behind me.No way he did this. Right?
‘It was an anonymous donation, Abbey. And, no, it wasn’t just Ella. They covered another student as well.’
‘I see. Well … I’ll get those forms to you, Sue. But now I’ve got to get back to work.’ I hung up and stood. I was rigid with a fury I didn’t believe I had ever felt before.
First, I did not need to be fucking rescued by him, or Kate, or Gran. It pissed me off that they thought I was weak. Second, paying for my kid to take a life-changing trip because he was worried I couldn’t afford it … told me there were feelings. More than that, it told me there was love. And it was pissing me off that he would not admit it.
I walked into his office without knocking, marching straight past his desk into the kitchen. It was that or the bathroom, the only places in the office that would afford me the privacy I needed. I walked to the back wall and leaned my head against the cool marble surface.
‘Abbey, are you okay?’
‘Did you pay for Ella’s student exchange program?’
‘I’m sorry?’
‘You heard me, Nick.’ I spun around to look at him accusingly, my arms folded against my chest.
‘Abbey, I …’ His eyes were shining, but he was not cleanly shaven and he looked tired, as if he hadn’t slept.
I had the urge to feel him, to feel his breath on me, to feel his lips on me, yet at the same time I wanted to rage at him – such was the nature of our relationship.
‘Yes, I did,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean for you to find out.’ He leaned against the bench behind him, sagging a little on it.
‘Why?’
‘Why what?’
I took three purposeful steps towards him. ‘Why did you do that?’
He swallowed and looked up at the ceiling, avoiding my gaze. ‘Because I can.’
‘Can you hear yourself? The things you say and the things you do tell me different things, Nick.’ I closed the gap between us, placing myself in front of him. I put my hand on his heart and felt it thud comfortingly underneath me. ‘I do not want your money. I do not need saving or to be rescued by you.’
