He breathed out and shook his head before placing his forehead on mine. ‘I know that, Abbey.’
‘Then tell me why, Nick? Let me in. Tell me why you do these things. For me.’
He put his hand over mine on his chest and we stood there for an age, simply looking at each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, leaving his hand there, and I leaned into it. But I could not make him speak.
‘I need you to stop.’ I stepped away from him and left the office.
***
After work, I brought Gran home for dinner. Her and Kate’s chatter was sufficient to keep my mind entertained as I chopped salad and popped crumbed chicken into the air fryer. But it wasn’t sufficient to lift my mood.
‘Abigail, how is that lovely man of yours? I’ve not seen him this week.’
‘I’m not sure who you are referring to, Gran,’ I said. The absolute last thing I wanted to do was to think about him. I took a sip of wine.
‘You know, he came by a few times.’
‘Yes. They don’t have any family left. I think he just wanted to feel close to a family.’
‘You seem sad, Abigail.’
I turned around to them, heat in my cheeks and my heart rate thumping in my chest. ‘I am sad. I’m in love with him. He does not love me. Or he does and won’t admit it. Are you happy?’ I put my wine down on the bench. ‘So I have two choices: leave my job or put up with him and this situation until Ollie returns. It’s just … you know, difficult for me to be near him and not be with him.’
‘But, Abbey, you have the date with Sebastian. And, honestly, he is a significantly better option than Nick. I mean he is taller, more handsome, a doctor,’ Kate said. ‘He’s not a total commitment-phobe with more money than sense.’
‘Maybe you should date him then, Kate,’ I offered, sick of her shit and feeling exhausted.
She didn’t respond.
‘Abbey, you know, in theDuke’s Dark Desire: The Adventure to India– not my favourite, but still – the heroine, the Honourable Romola Le Monde, implements a set of rules to resist the duke’s brother Rufus St Morten. Perhaps that’s what you need?’
‘Rules?’
‘Yes, Abbey. Rules. The attraction, when it is so strong, is an exceedingly difficult thing to combat. I certainly felt it for your grandfather, Harry, while I was still married to his best friend, Ray. It felt stronger than anything I’ve ever felt, then or since, like somehow the earth had made two people who were meant to fit together, whose souls would call to each other no matter the circumstances.’
‘Did you have an affair, Gran? With Grandad? I don’t think I’ve ever asked.’
‘No, child. It has never been my style. I was married, and that felt permanent. Ray wasn’t blind, though. It is difficult to hide from destiny, I’m afraid.’
‘He died in a car accident, didn’t he?’
‘Ray? Yes, child. I married your grandfather a fortnight later.’
‘Were people shocked?’
‘No one that mattered.’
I pulled out plates and the cutlery, while my grandmother continued her lesson.
‘Now, Abbey. Rules. You must implement lots of rules to ensure you don’t accidentally have sex.’
Ella walked into the kitchen at that exact moment and, without pausing, turned straight around and walked back to her room.
‘Rule number one … no skin-to-skin contact. No angsty, prolonged hand touching or grazing of fingers as you pass each other things.’
It was as if she had been a fly on the wall.
‘Rule number two …’ Gran took a sip of her wine. ‘No confined spaces. If you are in his office, keep the door open. If you are in a lift together, opposite walls.’
