“Exactly. The only thing we can both agree on is that we’re together right now and we will cross those bridges if or when we come to them.”
I stared at him for a moment, wondering how the hell we got to this point.
“But Jae was right,” I finally said. “We barely know each other. We were together for a few months in high school. We werekids, Enoch. How do you know you want to claim me forever after some school-crush nearly five years ago?”
Enoch’s jaw ticked with indignation, and I regretted belittling our connection in high school to a school crush.
“Shiloh, I’ve felt inexplicably connected to you from the moment that we met.” He paused, looking over my shoulder for a moment. “Do you know what your name means?”
I raised a brow, confused as to where he was going with his line of questioning. “It means peace or something.”
Fucking ironic, considering I haven’t felt at peace a day in my damn life.
“Yes, tranquility. Something I feel whenever you’re with me.” I rolled my eyes, and Enoch tugged my braid, silently telling me to knock it off. “There’s another poetic meaning to your name in Hebrew.” He searched my eyes for understanding before continuing. “It’s said to be used to describe the coming of the Messiah, Jesus. Some say it means His gift, God’s gift.Youare my gift. God crossed our paths five years ago, and He made sure that we found our way back to each other.”
“And you think,I’ma gift?Me?” I blinked with disbelief.
“Yes. I do.”
Why does every man that’s ever wanted me have to claim that I’m their gift from God? And why do I like it when Enoch says it?
“Enoch, I dropped a bomb on you guys. Did you not hear a word I said? You’re acting like it’s normal to be kissing and dating a murderer.”
Enoch huffed, his hand releasing my braid to hold the back of my neck.
“No, I’m not acting like it’s fucking normal to have killed someone, Shiloh. I’m fucking…” his mouth thinned into a tightline, and he took a deep breath. “I’m fucking livid. I am livid that you had to go through that and so much more. I am livid that I cannot make this go away, that I cannot change the past, that I cannot go back in time, that I cannot take this guilt away from you, that you have to live with the consequences of the darkest time in your life. I. Am. Livid. Shiloh.”
I swallowed, biting down hard into my cheek. Enoch’s hands cupped my face, and he stared me down.
“But don’t think for a second that any damn thing you did working for those evil fuckers will make me see you as any less than the fiercest, most resilient woman.”
My eyes pricked with tears and I rapidly blinked, blowing my breath up into my eyes as a deterrent.You will not fucking cry. You are not fucking weak.
“Do you understand me?” he implored, his brown eyes boring into mine. “I don’t give a fuck how many people you killed, how many crimes you committed, how many fucked-up things you did. I. Don’t. Care. I want all the pieces of you. The fucked-up ones, the broken ones, the messy ones, the ones you don’t want anyone else to see…they’re all beautiful. And they’re all mine. You. Are. Mine.”
My nails dug into the fabric of my bike shorts, an attempt to distract myself from admitting that I wanted his words to be the truth. That I wanted someone to love every piece of me. That I wantedEnochto love every piece of me.
I forced another deep breath in through my nose, successfully staving off the tears.
“So, you’re my boyfriend.”
Enoch smiled smugly, the anger gone from his eyes. His mouth sealed against mine for a kiss. “Yes. I’m yours.”
My heart fluttered in my chest, and I tried to shut down the part of my brain that was screaming at me to not believe a wordhe said. I could run with a hypothetical scenario a little longer. Pretend for another minute that we could be a normal couple.
“What exactly does that entail?”
His brows creased. “What do you mean?”
“Like,” I sighed, pulled out of his hold and sitting back on my heels. “Like, what are the expectations here?”
“Monogamy?” His drawled out. “I mean,” he shook his head, “that’s not a question. I definitely expect monogamy. I don’t think I understand what you’re asking.”
I licked my lips, my eyes wandering to the windows behind the couch that overlooked the neighborhood. I watched a family of birds fly across the street.
“Are you talking about sex?” Enoch asked, his hands moving to rest on my hips.
My cheeks flamed and I looked down at his face. He didn’t appear phased by the question, and I scolded myself for not being more a mature adult about the topic. I became heavily aware of the fact that I was sitting on his thighs, and it only made my face hotter. I swallowed.
