“That’s not how this works, Shiloh. Actions have consequences. Your father chose to save his own life by sellingme your brother. And your brother, for whatever selfish reasons, decided to betray his blood-sworn family, knowing full well that you would be next in line to fulfill the debt owed to me.”
“Stop saying that! He wasn’t selfish! He only ever cared about me and now he’s fucking dead because of you! I won’t do this! Please! Just kill me already! Please!”
Carlos took a breath, staring up at me with a disappointed expression.
“If you truly wish to die, that can be arranged.”
I nearly fell over when Carlos motioned to the other side of the room and a figure moved.Fucking hell. Adrian was still in the room. God, I was useless. Had I learned fucking anything from Javier?
Carlos leaned forward enough to pull a gun from his waistband. Adrian swiftly crossed the room, taking the gun from Carlos’s outstretched hand and checking to see if it was loaded. The click of the chamber reverberated in the silence.
My heart pounded and I stared at the gun.I can end it all right now. I can end it all. No more pain. No more disappointments. Maybe I’ll see Javier in hell and get all the answers I know I’ll never get while I remain alive.
Carlos sighed, gaining my attention.
“Sweetheart, I knew you’ve been through a lot the last few days. I know that it was traumatic to see your brother die, then you were raped—”He knows about the rape?“—and now to find out about your brother’s real life…I wish that I could go back in time, that I had helped you sooner, Shiloh. But you have a choice right now. Saveyourself. Join me, join this family, remove yourself from this misery you’ve been born into. Give yourself a chance at happiness.”
The fire crackled. Sweat trickled down the back of my neck, and I flicked my eyes between the gun and Carlos.
“Or…Adrian can end things for you now. It'll be a quick and painless death. I promise.”
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is the end, isn’t it? How fucking pathetic. How fucking pathetic!
“I just need you to know, that if you chose to die right now, I will need to find someone willing to fulfill the payment.” Carlos licked his lips, his gaze turning up towards Adrian. “Alejandro is twelve now, right?”
Adrian blinked, a clear sign of surprise and hesitation before nodding.Twelve. Fuck. A child. An innocent life.
Carlos hummed thoughtfully, running a hand over the stubble on his face. “About the same age that Javier was. He is rather peculiar, with his autism. But he’s very pragmatic.” Carlos pursed his lips in consideration, “With the right education and guidance, I think he’d turn out to be very useful. And I suppose I do need to punish Marcus for what he did to you.”
My lips parted in shock.Kush has a son? A child? Carlos would use him to punish Kush for raping me?
Carlos clicked his tongue, fingers dancing on his thigh. “Ah. I realize we haven’t discussed retribution. I understand if that is causing you some wariness about joining this family. You have my word, even if you choose to end your life here, I will see that Marcus and Peter are both punished for you. As for Peter’s punishment, his youngest is…eight now. Very spirited child, but I think he’d make a fine matón one day like his father. I’d say that’s a win-win all around. Debt fulfilled and punishment doled. Unless you have other ideas, Shiloh.”
“Wait, wait, wait. You’re willing to take other children in my place? To-to fulfill this debt my dad owes you, you’ll take someone else instead?” I asked.
Carlos shook his head with a chuckle. “You surprise me, Shiloh. I thought you were much too weakhearted to want toshirk this responsibility onto another. Maybe you do share some of your brother’s traits.”
My jaw clenched and I released a shaky breath. “I am not weak. And that’s not what I meant.”
“Oh no, on the contrary, I think you are incredibly strong. To have lived through everything that you have, survived two unfit parents …Well, you may be a little naïve, but you are certainly resilient.”
Adrian shifted his weight, and I flitted my gaze to the gun he still held in his hand. My heart skipped in my chest, and I dug my nails deeper into my palms.
“I don’t understand why you wantmeto join, why you’ve waited a year for this. I am not valuable to you, Carlos. I have nothing to give you but my body, and I refuse to do that.”
Carlos frowned. “Why do you think so little of yourself? You are so much more than your body. I see your potential. You can do better than your bloodline, so much better. And I truly believe that you will be happy with the role I have planned for you. I promise you will be well removed from any of the darker sides of business. You will hardly have to lift a finger. You’ll be taken care of. Don’t you want that, Shiloh? Don’t you want to be cared for? Properly. Not controlled by your brother or father but given everything your heart desires. Don’t you want to find joy, some peace and comfort? After everything the world has handed you, don’t you think you deserve a little of that? Because I believe you do, sweetheart. You shouldn’t have to suffer just because of the hand the world dealt you.”
I swallowed, my foot tapping as I eyed the gun again.
It was coercion, manipulation. And I didn’t want to fall for it. But if I took the bullet now, he would take innocent children to clear my father’s debt and punish my rapists.
I’d seen enough already, I was hardened to the world. If I could spare even one child that misery, maybe that would make my life mean something.
Carlos sat back, gazing at me for a moment in silence and he motioned for me to take a seat. I agreed, only because I was seeing spots in my vision and thought I might pass out.
“IfI say yes, what happens next?”
Carlos’s lips twitched as if he was about to smile. “You prove your loyalty.”
