Another flashback to their last day together.She’d gone back to the house later that night to collect more things and he’d come in and found her there.Nina and Stuart were with her, and for once, Kenneth had delivered a tirade of abuse in front of them.Head held high, Bernadette had walked down the hallway and opened the door to leave, when she saw that her path was blocked by a stunning young blonde woman.Bernadette was trying to remember who spoke first, when Nina’s voice snapped her back to the present.
‘Mum, are you ready?The car will be here soon.’
‘I’m just coming, love.’
She checked her watch.Just after 9a.m.The funeral car was due to arrive in fifteen minutes to take Nina and Gerry, Stuart and Connor, and Bernadette to Glasgow Cathedral for the service.Bernadette had resisted the idea, saying that as the ex-wife, it didn’t feel right to be in the chief mourners’ car, and several of her friends, Sarah, Alice, Val, had offered to take her, but Nina had insisted.‘Mum, we’re all there is.This is it.We have no other family, so who would have an opinion on it?’
She’d still swithered, until Stuart had interjected.‘Mum, I don’t want to have to look for you in the crowd.Tomorrow will be hard enough, so I want to know you’re beside me.’
So here they were.Final chapter.
Another deep breath as she summoned every ounce of the strength she was going to need to get through today.This wasn’t for her.It damn well definitely wasn’t for Kenneth.It was for Nina and Stuart.And that would always be enough for her to pull her shoulders back, grit her teeth and be the support that they needed.Enough for her to rise above the knowing looks and stares of pity that would undoubtedly come from the attendees who knew of Kenneth’s many infidelities.Enough to reject her friends’ offers to come and support her.She didn’t need anyone because she was strong enough to do this on her own.And knowing that confidence would infuriate the man who’d spent a lifetime telling her she was weak, made her pull her shoulders back just a little bit more.
Downstairs, she went into the kitchen, and saw that Nina and Stuart were already at the table, the same one she’d sat around with them last night.It felt odd.Incongruous.Since she’d left Kenneth and moved in here, this kitchen had been her place of sanctuary, of freedom, of safety and of so much joy.Her pals were regular visitors and this table had held countless mugs of tea and more than a few buckets of wine too.It had been the centre point for giggles and gossip and so much love from the women in her life.Hopefully this would be the last day that it saw tears too.
The lovely Connor put four mugs in the dishwasher, just as Nina’s husband, Gerry, came in from the hall.‘That’s the car here.Time to go.’Bernadette watched as he reached his hand out to Nina, holding her steady as she got up from the table, her face a mask of grief and sorrow.It didn’t matter a jot to Bernadette that he wasn’t the high-flying academic that Kenneth had envisaged for his daughter.Gerry was the kind of man her daughter deserved: kind, steadfast, loving – and Bernadette was grateful for him.Maybe Kenneth’s malevolent influence had taught their offspring what to avoid in a partner, because Connor was a gem of a human being too, someone who loved her son the way he deserved and who’d become a frequent visitor and a much-loved member of the family.Bernadette reached out and squeezed his hand, conveying a million thanks for being there for them all.
Bernadette hugged Nina before she and Gerry headed out of the kitchen, towards the front door.Connor was behind them, giving her a couple of seconds with her son.He was twenty-six years old and so stoic, so smart, yet all she wanted to do was to hold him close.She settled for another hug and a couple of words of encouragement.
‘We’ll be fine, darling.We’ve got this,’ she whispered, and he nodded, with a sad smile of thanks.
‘I know, Mum.I just want it to be over.’
‘Me too, son.’
He reached out his hand and she took it, realising that he was the one comforting her now.
As she locked the front door behind them and climbed into the long black car, Bernadette wondered if Kenneth was looking down on them now.On the wife he’d been so relentlessly cruel to.On the son he’d demeaned and diminished.On the daughter whose marriage he’d disapproved of.And she could almost hear him raging at the prospect of having absolutely no control over anything they did after today.
One last day.That was all he was getting.And the most important thing was that he couldn’t cause her, or anyone else, another stab of pain.
As she stepped out of the door of her home, she had no idea that she was about to find out that she was wrong.
10A.M.–NOON
5
BERNADETTE
Bernadette was rushing out of the door and had got as far as her front path when a little white Jeep came roaring up the driveway towards her, making the pebble stones fly in every direction as it braked to a halt.
A helmet of blonde hair emerged from the driver’s door, followed by a white furry jacket, with arms that threw themselves around Bernadette.Val Murray, one of her closest friends and an absolute diamond of a human being, was never shy about making an entrance.
‘Hello, ma darlin’.Glad I caught you.Are you off out?Don’t tell me if you’re going off on a three-day shagathon with that handsome big man of yours – it’ll only make me jealous.Have I ever mentioned that he reminds me of Liam Neeson?’
Bernadette couldn’t help but chuckle.‘Only a hundred times or so.’
‘Ah right.Repeating myself is allowed at my age.It comes with saying whatever I damn well please and leaving the house with my slippers on.’
Bernadette glanced downwards just to check and was relieved to see a screaming pink pair of moonboots.Val’s usual slipper choice of white furry mules were no match for this weather.
‘Anyway, no shagathon, I’m afraid.Can’t afford the chiropractor I’d need afterwards.And Jack isn’t arriving until tomorrow morning because he’s working today, so I’m picking up an extra shift at the hospital.’
That clearly perplexed her pal.‘But I thought you were off today?’
‘I was, but they’ve called me in because they’re short-staffed and I had nothing else on.’
‘Oh.’Bernadette wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Val lost for words, but her friend recovered quickly.‘Right then.Och, well, I was just coming to see if you wanted to come for a wee pamper day.I’m going to Jessie’s salon to get my hair done…’ Jessie was another of Val’s wide circle of chums, and she owned a salon over in a little village called Weirbridge.Bernadette had been going to her for a couple of years now and adored her.‘…And she has a free slot right after me.’
