“And there are lots of other fish in the sea,” Jasper adds.
I frown. The thought of even thinking about getting together with another girl makes me feel sick. I don’t think my heart could handle being rejected again. Even though a few girls have done so in the past, it just feels different now. Maybe because seeing Raven again has brought all these confusing emotions back.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll focus on school and the band,” I say.
Beck frowns like he wants to say or do something to help me, but he doesn’t know what.
I give him a bright smile, or try to. “It’s cool, man. I’ll be okay.”
He doesn’t look so sure. “Sorry for…well, you know.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Yeah, but still. It’s not cool that you’re hurting like this. Makes me hurt, too, you know?”
Jasper and Leo nod in agreement.
I smile sadly. “Thanks. I don’t know why I’m taking this so hard. It’s okay if she doesn’t want to be my friend.”
Leo strums his bass guitar. “Sure, but it stinks when someone tells you they don’t want to be your friend. Being friend-zoned isn’t fun, but not even being friend-zoned? Harsh, dude.”
I keep my gaze on the floor. “I just really thought we could forget the past and be friends again. Clearly she doesn’t want that. But I need to stop questioning it and feeling sorry for myself. Maybe she’s right and itisbest we stay out of each other’s way. Like I said, I’ll focus on school and the band.”
Beck and Leo nod like that’s probably best.
“She’s cool and fun,” Jasper says. “It’s a shame we can’t play video games with her anymore.”
“Dude,” Beck hisses at him, shaking his head. “Way to be selfish.”
I wave my hand. “No, he’s right. Things could get weird if she hangs out with you guys and not me. But it’s okay. Be her friend, I really don’t mind. I want you to continue playing video games with her. If she wants that, I mean.”
Beck frowns again. “Hmm. Do we stay loyal to our best bud or do we hang out with his enemy?”
My eyes grow large. “Enemy? I wouldn’t call her my enemy. We’re just not friends.”
“She might see you as an enemy,” Leo points out.
I shake my head. “You guys don’t know her like I do. Raven wouldn’t call anyone her enemy. Unless they hurt her, like, really badly. And I don’t think I did.” I rub my hand down my face. “Did I?”
They don’t answer because they don’t know what to say. Only she and I were present when things went downhill between us.
“Never mind,” I say after a few seconds of silence. “Let’s practice. Did we choose a song to cover?”
Beck returns to his drums while Jasper shoots me a list of popular songs we can play. I’m the lead singer and backupguitarist while Jasper is lead guitarist and backup vocalist. Leo and Beck sing a bit, too.
As we get into it, I drop all thoughts of Raven and focus on the music. It has a way of calming my soul, of lifting me out of my body and toward the sky, as if I’m floating to another place.
The other guys seem to be in the zone, too. But then Jasper makes a mistake and the magic is broken.
“Again,” I instruct. We’re nowhere where we’re supposed to be. The playing is off, my singing is off.
It’s been quite a stressful two days. I’ve barely been at HBA for long and already I’m having a hard time focusing on anything.
I should have switched schools with someone else. My friends and I knew we were lucky to get into HBA, something most kids were hoping for. I think it happened because of our grades. Well, not Beck’s. Beck is only here because we requested to be placed in the same school.
“Darn it!” Beck throws his sticks to the floor. “We’re playing like crap.”
I swing my guitar over my shoulder, placing it on the floor. “I think we should call it a day and pick this up tomorrow. None of us are feeling it right now. It’s my fault and I’m sorry.”
