His mouth falls open as he stares at me in shock. Then he seems to gather himself. “Oh…that’s cool. I get it.”
He looks like he doesn’t get it at all. A part of me wants to explain because he looks really hurt, and that kills me. But I don’t owe him anything, not after the way he treated me.
“I wish you lots of luck here,” I say with a forced smile. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”
I turn around and walk away.
As I make my way to the dorms, I can’t help but kick myself. Why did I blurt that what happened between us at camp was silly? What if there was a chance he was trying to…I don’t know, apologize for what happened? Maybe he was trying to figure out if I still felt anything for him? No, that’s silly. Iknowhe didn’t feel the same way for me as I did for him.
Then why do I feel like I just messed up royally?
Chapter Five
Kylen
I keep telling myself it’s okay. It’s her wish. But an entire day has passed and I still can’t help feeling rejected. Which is pathetic because if she doesn’t want to be friends, then I need to accept it and move on. But it’s so hard.
Obviously so much has happened between us and I never expected us to be perfectly cool with each other. But I wanted us to hang out, get to know one another again, to not be so weird around each other. We were good as friends. I liked having her in my life. I hoped she enjoyed having me in her life, too, but I guess I was wrong. She really has no interest in melting the ice between us.
How am I going to get through the days here knowing there’s a fellow student—someone who I used to be close to—who can’t stand being around me?
I don’t want to make this all about me because we’re both involved here, but it hurts. Being rejected by the girl who I used to dream about for weeks is like a deep punch to the gut.
A bang against a drum pulls me out of my thoughts. Lifting my eyes, I remember where I am and what my buddies and I are doing.
“Romeo’s finally back with us,” Beck says as he twirls his drumstick between his fingers. He was the one who hit the stick on the drum, probably to get my attention because I haven’t been concentrating on practice since we came here an hour ago.
We’re in the music room. Principal Harrington lets us use it for band practice, but only when choir or orchestra isn’t in session. Our band is pathetic, really. We don’t play at gigs and we have a tiny following online. But we love it and it gives ussomething fun to do together. It helped me get over Raven, too, since we started the band only last year.
Beck’s face shifts from teasing to a more serious one. “You good?”
Jasper and Leo are busy scrolling through their phones, probably because I was basically gone for the past few minutes. But I can’t help it. I just can’t get over that she doesn’t want me in her life. And worse, I feel like a jerk because my heart refuses to take her feelings into consideration. Do I have a right to feel this way because I wish she’d be in my life?
Why can’t I get over her?
“Ky, what’s up?” Beck asks.
I shrug, running my hand along my guitar. There are many instruments around us, making the room stuffy and claustrophobic. Beck had to bring his drums instead of using the school’s because he claims his hands don’t work right unless he’s playing on his. It’s the same for me and the others. We also brought our instruments, but they don’t take up as much room as his drums.
By now, Jasper and Leo have noticed something is wrong with me and aren’t scrolling anymore.
“I’m fine,” I tell them. “Just thinking.”
“Bet I know about who,” Jasper says with a grin. “Did you and Rave kiss and make up outside the rec room yesterday? You haven’t really said a word about it, just been in your head. We didn’t want to interrupt your romantic thoughts.”
I know they’re just teasing me. For some reason, they think Raven and I are looking to get back together, which is so, so far from the truth.
I must have a certain look on my face because Beck’s eyebrows lift. “Geez, man. Why do you look like someone died?”
Shaking my head, I strum a few chords on the guitar. “You guys have no idea what you’re talking about. We didn’t kiss ormake up or any of that. She pretty much told me to stay out of her life. She doesn’t even want us to be friends.”
I shut my eyes because even though they’re my best friends, it still stings and is a bit awkward and uncomfortable. It’s never fun to be rejected.
The guys are silent, and when I open my eyes, I spot them exchanging glances, like they don’t know what to say. We usually don’t get all mushy and share our feelings like this. They’ve been rejected by girls, too, and haven’t taken it as hard as I’m taking this.
Beck gets up from where he’s sitting at his drums, makes his way over to me, and claps me on the shoulder. “That’s rough, man. I’m sorry.”
Leo gives me an encouraging smile. “At least you’ve got us.”
