“No, Ky.” Leo shakes his head. “It’s not your fault and we don’t blame you.”
Jasper shrugs. “Sometimes things happen and we just have to deal with it, no matter how hard it is. But we’re here for you, man. You’re our guy.”
I smile in appreciation. “Thanks. I’m sure I’ll be over this soon and I’ll be back to normal.”
Though the question is, what is normal? For about six months following camp, I wasn’t myself. I was like a shadow drifting around. But I pulled myself out of the hole and started getting back to who I was. Why is it so much harder now?
It’s not like I’m looking to get back together with Raven, so why am I so bothered that she doesn’t want to be my friend? We’ll be out of each other’s lives a year and a half from now and never see or talk to each other again.
Why does that feel like a strong punch to the gut, too? I should be happy that we won’t interact with each other. But I’m not.
Leo, Jasper, and I pack away our guitars while Beck carries his sticks with him. He’s not allowed to have a drum set in our dorm room, but he can make drums out of pretty much anything in the room. The walls, the floors, the dressers, etc. He sometimes wakes me up at night because a song is stuck in his head and he drums to the beat.
Jasper and Leo each have roommates. The administration was ready to place Beck and me with other guys, too, but Beck begged them to let us room together. He claimed he wouldn’t sleep well if he had to share with a stranger. The real reason he was adamant is because of the homework thing. It doesn’t matter to me either way who my roommate is, but I guess it’s nice to have my best buddy to talk to at night. We don’t really share our feelings or anything like that, but he’s a good listener. When he’s not being annoying, that is.
We enter the guys’ dorm, and after Jasper and Leo separate to their rooms, Beck slings his arm over my shoulder. “Poor guy,” he says. “So sad it kills me.”
Beck usually doesn’t get emotional, but it’s different with me. I guess we’ve been best friends since forever and have gone through a lot together. Like when his pet turtle died, or when a girl broke up with him, or when he got suspended from school for throwing water balloons at a teacher’s car. And of course what happened between Raven and me at camp. Yep, through thick and thin we’ve been there for each other.
“I’m fine,” I tell him. “Ready to move on.”
He lifts a brow. “And meet another cute girl?”
“Nope. No girls for the time being.”
He grins. “I get it. Being here has sent you on an emotional roller coaster. Well, more girls for me.”
I chuckle as I pat him on the chest. “What girl would ever want you?” I tease.
I can feel him scowling at me as I unlock the door and we walk inside. “Girls like me,” he insists.
I playfully give him a look like he’s talking crazy. He had a girlfriend in ninth grade, but that relationship ended when she found out he barely passes his grades. And a girl was interested last year, but she didn’t like how goofy he was. He’ll find the perfect girl one day. Someone who will love him for him. I know it.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.
I pat him on the chest again. “Sure, girls love you, but I heard most of the girls here are looking for a rich dude.”
His eyebrows furrow. “Then why are we even at this school if I can’t score a babe?”
“You didnotjust say that.”
He waggles his brows with a cheeky smile.
“And that’s why most girls don’t like you,” I inform him as I walk to my bed and plop down. “But you’ll meet her one day. Maybe not soon. But one day. Someone who is perfect for you.”
He looks at me like he doesn’t know who I am. “Why are you being all weird, dude? Like sensitive and whatever.”
I shrug. “Just…I appreciate you and the others being there for me, that’s all. And I want you to be happy, too.”
He grins widely. “Aw, shucks, man. That’s real neat of you to say.”
A few awkward seconds pass.
“So want to help me with algebra homework?” he asks.
“Totally.”
The awkwardness is gone and he’s back to goofing off instead of concentrating and I’m no longer thinking about the beautiful girl with the most striking hazel eyes in the world.
