It’s time, apparently.
My legs are up in stirrups, knees wide, my whole lower body on display to anyone that happens to walk into the room. I feel like a rotisserie chicken or something. It’s so undignified.
Ace is right by my side. Dr. Bernard is between my legs snapping on fresh gloves.
“We’re gonna push on the next contraction, okay?”
Oh, are we?We?
Anyway, I nod and brace myself, lowkey irritated that they muted the TV. I was trying to see what Julia Roberts was gonna say to break up that damn wedding. I’m rooting for homegirl.
“You’re doing good, babe.”
I look up at Ace and shrug. “I can’t feel much.”
“You’re still doing good. Did you want anybody else in here? Tori?”
“No. Just you.”
He nods, squeezing my hand so tight, I feel like I need an epidural for my fucking fingers.
“Ace. My hand.”
“Oh! Sorry.” His voice is shaky. “I’m nervous.”
“Contraction starting,” the nurse calls, her eyes on the monitor. “Take a deep breath, hold it, and push.”
I bear down and…I think I’m pushing. Everybody’s encouraging me, so I must be doing something.
“You got this,” Ace says. “Keep pushing.”
My face burns and my throat hurts. I want water, but evidently, that’s forbidden. But it’s giving me motivation. After I push Ace’s fucking baby out, I can have a nice, cold bottle of water.
I push harder.
“Great job,” Dr. Bernard says. “This baby has a lot of hair. Dad, come look.”
Ace drops my hand and peers between my legs, his smile big and heartbreaking. I wish I could feel what he’s feeling, but I don’t.
“Okay, you can rest for a minute, Raya. Very good.”
My eyes go to the television. I think Julia got her man. Oh, wait. No, he’s chasing after Cameron Diaz. What the fuck, Julia? You didn’t close the deal? Who wrote this fucking script?
“Raya.”
My eyes shift to my husband. “Yes?”
“You okay?”
“I’m good.” I gesture at the tv. “Just distracting myself.”
He looks concerned, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Alright, here comes another contraction. Let’s push!”
This goes on for a while, a boring cycle of pushing and resting. Time blurs past.
I’m starting to sweat now. My hair is coming loose and sticking to my neck. It’s very uncomfortable.
