“I wasn’t doing a favor to you as much as I was doing a favor to the world.” Earnest eyes met mine. “Youareextremely talented. I know you don’t believe me. I also know you think I’m trying to placate you. There is a consensus among the board members that you are by far the most gifted musician in the recent history of the conservatory.”
My cheeks warmed at his flattery. Being labeled gifted by people who excelled in music themselves was a great honor. “That is high praise indeed. For the future, can we agree that a request for you not to interfere is not a license for you and Rex to overturn my decision simply because you feel the need to?”
“If you want to put the blame on someone, blame me. I am a bad influence on him. It was my idea to tell the board who you are. Rex wanted to make you happy.” He cast me a pleading grin.
After my conversation with Olivia, my anger over the conservatory was slowly fading. I could take the opportunity given to me and help others. Yet that wasn’t the only issue with my marriage. “He is still furious with me over the proposal.”
“It is a simple misunderstanding. You may have had doubts twenty-plus years ago, however, I can say with complete confidence that you were in love with Rex. I was simply a distraction.”
“Mary once told me you spoke about Rex non-stop when the two of you were alone.” He exhaled a long breath and closed his eyes briefly before lifting his dark lashes once more. “She had no idea that I was secretly infatuated with you at the time. In the end, you chose Rex because he was the right man for you. We both know it.”
“I do love him.” I caressed Flynn’s jaw, lowering my violin and pulling him in for a kiss. Our lips touched for a brief moment, the connection bittersweet. “I love you too.”
The second our mouths connected, desire sparked my blood. He splayed his hand, bringing it to the nape of my neck. While I wasn’t sure if our unusual arrangement would work, I wasn’t averse to trying. The decision wasn’t mine alone to make, though. I pulled back and gazed deep into his eyes. “We’ll need to discuss this with Rex first. If he says yes, then I am on board. I miss your kisses, and I miss the way you reduce my inhibitions.”
He kissed me once more, our lips dancing in a seductive rhythm.
Voices could be heard outside, breaking us apart. I leaned away from him, putting my hand on his chest to put distance between us. “I love you, Flynn. I always have. Tradition says you can only love one man at a time. That’s not the case. I’ve always been in love with you, and I’ve definitely always lusted after you. Does that make me a bad person?”
“It makes you human.” He leaned over the arm of his chair, a determined jut to his jaw. “Which leads to my one caveat to the affair.”
“All right.” I wasn’t sure what to make of his serious tone. He had instigated the entire affair with talk of a ménage. What limitations would he impose?
“Olivia taught me that a marriage can’t be based on fear of losing someone you hold dear for whatever reason.” He held my stare with a resolute one of his own. “My caveat is for you and Rex to clear the air before we go any further. You evade the simplest conversations for fear of offending the other. Living as polite strangers must be taxing. Marriage is a messy business.”
He hit the proverbial nail on the head, and my eyes welled with tears. “It is very taxing.”
“Then end it. Tell Rex what you told me. The whole sordid truth. You used to tell each other everything.”
I lifted my eyebrows, a wry smile twisting my mouth. “Not everything.”
“No, apparently not everything, and secrets have a way of festering.” He kissed the back of my hand and cast me a crooked smile. “Since I am most eager to resume our affair, I will be pressuring you until you speak with him. You know how relentless I can be.”
“Indeed I do.”
“Now that business is out of the way, would you play with me?”
“I would love to.” I retrieved my violin and settled it under my chin. The instrument was part of me, and the sounds from the violin reflected my soul. The polished wood was slick under my fingertips, the oils I used to care for it a welcome scent reminding me of home.
Once Rex returned home, we would have a frank conversation. I vowed to hold nothing back. Lifting my bow, Iforwent the tune of loss I’d been playing earlier and began to play a joyful melody of promise for the future. Life was like a musical piece, a series of crescendos with the melody of time’s steady rhythm ebbing and flowing between them. I needed to appreciate what I had through the good times and the bad.
Most importantly, I had to appreciate myself.
Chapter Thirty-One
