Lord Rex, Duke of Smythington
The hour was late when I exited the parliament building to find my carriage waiting to take me home. Smythington House used to be a place of comfort, except it had become rather chilly, and not because of the weather. Eleanor and I were still not on speaking terms, and my relationship with Flynn was strained. I felt rather alone and couldn’t shake the feeling. Since Anne’s wedding and after Eleanor’s revelation, we had taken a major step backward. It made for a bleak marriage.
Moonlight cast a blue glow over the Thames, and ship lights in the distance created a fetching picture. Music floated in the air, and I tilted my head, sure it was coming from my coach. The hauntingly beautiful sound of the violin greeted me as the coachman opened the door. My pulse leaped at the sight of Eleanor. “This is a surprise.”
“I thought we might clear the air somewhere we wouldn’t be interrupted.” She spoke in a practical manner, but tension hung about her. The lamp hanging outside the carriage window lit the inside with warm, diffused light. A dark cloak hid her figure from view. She offered me a tentative smile and laid her violin in the case beside her.
“I hope you haven’t been waiting long.” The interior carried the scent of her perfume, an intoxicating mix of roses and thyme. I entered the carriage and sat on the bench across from her, leeryof the upcoming conversation. Things weren’t good between us. However, she’d journeyed here to speak to me, which was promising.
“A tad bit. I have my music to occupy me.” She placed her hand on the closed case, her ruby ring flashing in the light. The ring was a symbol of eternal love. “Did you have a productive meeting?”
“Yes, I suppose.” I removed my hat and settled it on my thigh. The carriage jerked as the driver put the horses into motion. I rubbed my thumb along the brim of my hat, silence stretching between us. The steady clip-clop of horses’ hoofs echoed in the near-empty street. My mind spinning, I wanted to speak yet I held back. It was the story of my life of late. The words we threw at each other were hurtful, and the revelation still cut a hole deep inside my gut. “Is Harry settled for the night?”
Children were a safe topic with us, one of the few things we seemed to always agree on.
“Harry is staying the weekend at my brother’s house in the country.” Eleanor gripped the case tighter as the coachman slowed to take a corner. “He and his cousin will be hunting some sort of beetle.”
“He must be through his worm phase then.” I placed my hat on the seat next to me, amazed at his curious passion for bugs. Working so much, I missed the little things that made life worth living.
“I took him and Beatrix to the Entomological Society of London symposium yesterday. Apparently, they accept girls, so the two of them are determined to become members of the society.” She shook her head, a gleam of amusement in her eyes. “To be honest, I wish he had picked a more appealing passion.”
I joined in on her laughter. “I quite agree. He has made his choice though and we must respect his decision.” Myamusement died with my words as they paralleled the heart of our discourse.
“Other than the symposium, how was your day?” A shout sounded from outside the carriage, the horses slowing down the deeper we moved into the city. Staring out the window, I waited for her response, unsure if she picked up on my inadvertent comment. Sometimes, silence was the greatest defense. I had a bad habit of putting my foot in my mouth of late so it might be best if I listened quietly.
“It was quite eventful. Olivia broke her engagement to Flynn and leaves in the morning for Australia.”
I whipped my head around, mouth agape before I shut it with a small snap. “What happened?”
“She confessed to me last night she thought Flynn was in love with someone else.” She plucked at her cape string, her slender fingers pale in the dim light. “Well, she wasn’t wrong. He is in love with you.”
“And you.” Our argument at the Stratham and the emotional impact her admission brought rushed into my mind, agitating me all over again.
“After she told Flynn this morning, he and I had a heart-to-heart.” Eleanor had been his figurative shoulder to cry on in recent years.
“He must be devastated.” I hadn’t thought anything of it until she made her confession. My hurt caused me to lash out at her and Flynn. His reminder of how arrogant I had been over the years stuck with me. Thus, I was having greater difficulty dealing with it. Throughout the years, we had been there for one another. After seeing Eleanor home, I would seek him out to discover how he was faring. “He’d been running from marriage, and once he gave in to her demands, she rejected him. Do you think it was intentional on her part? She is a proud woman.”
“No, I don’t think so.” With a deep sigh, she adjusted the folds of her cloak. “She was truly upset. She did offer me some sage words of advice, though. In typical Olivia fashion, she told me I was being silly for giving up my place at the conservatory.”
“I would say she’s right, but...” I let the comment trail off, not wishing to say more.
Eleanor wrinkled her nose in a playful manner. Chin tilted, she held my regard. “You were right as well. I should continue with my music regardless of the circumstances in which I received the position. I let pride get in the way of my goals, and I am sorry for being unduly harsh.”
“Do not apologize. I shouldn’t have made the decision on your behalf. I should have consulted with you.” My voice broke, and I wasn’t sure why. Emotions rushed to the fore, and I tried to gather my thoughts. This was a much-needed conversation, no matter how painful it was about to become. “It has been hammered home of late that I have taken you for granted, and you don’t deserve that.”
“I haven’t been telling you the truth about how I really feel, and that is my fault. All of this could have been avoided had I simply been honest. I have been lost lately, and not because of you or Harry or Anne or Atticus. I was lost because of me.” She used her knuckle to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.
I removed my handkerchief from my pocket and handed it to her. “I understand you were upset.” I debated whether to let my anger over the proposal drop, yet holding back was why our marriage’s passion had faded. “I was equally upset, and us not speaking for days wasn’t productive. Flynn is right, we don’t talk about anything with substance. That’s been our problem for a while now.”
“It didn’t used to be.” More tears glistened on her cheeks. She didn’t bother wiping them off. Ragged emotions showed in the quiver of her lips.
“We used to stay up until dawn talking about any number of subjects.” Until the twins came, and then our conversations shifted to the children and never left.
“When Olivia and I had our first luncheon at the Stratham, we made a pact that we wouldn’t talk about our children. In the first few minutes, I realized I had nothing to say.” The tears were falling with more speed. “She asked me what my passion was outside of the family. Music was the one subject I kept returning to. She encouraged me to audition for the conservatory and I balked at first because it is so personal. It is how I express myself, and it has kept me sane since the first time I picked up the violin.”
When I thought about the abuse she suffered at her father’s hand, I became livid all over again. “I’m glad you found yourself, and that you’re following your passion for music. I would like to be part of your journey as well.”
“Music is not my only passion.” With a wavering smile, she looked outside, her profile to me. “Olivia and I had a very eye-opening conversation about sharing intimacies. Flynn showing us what she was referring to and helping us open ourselves up to new possibilities has given me a new outlook on our marriage.”
