Gunnar proved to be a good listener, which was why I backtracked and gave him more information about my father’s disapproval of my relationship with Hana and his push for me to break up with her. Then I admitted that I’d screwed around and nearly lost my shot to move into the NHL because I’d been despondent and angry once I realized Hana was gone from my life. I pedaled as I spoke, but kept my leg work light since I’d already skated an additional hour at Coach’s demand—part of my penance for not coming home with the team.
When I finished, Gunnar turned to look at his machine. I felt lighter without the weight of his icy blue gaze, and also after unburdening myself of the whole story—some of the guilt I’d carried seeped away as I realized I’d been a child who’d craved, sought out, and followed his father’s advice. Doing so had hurt me, nearly irreparably. I would never again simply accept another’s suggestion as the correct one.
“Silas and I talked about your situation when we offered you the contract,” Gunnar said after a moment. He finally slowed his machine, and I noted the faintest of grimaces. At least the man wasn’t a robot, as he’d seemed there for a bit.
He wiped sweat from his brow and took another long drink from his water bottle, leaving me to sweat it out for a minute. He held the power in our relationship, something a lot of professional players didn’t like to admit. They had talent, acumen, and physical prowess, but they didn’t hold the purse strings, and they didn’t make the decisions that could take a team from average to Stanley Cup level.
Gunnar stepped off the machine, set his bottle aside, and leaned over, stretching. I continued my pedaling. “I know some people at Johnson Space Center.” He raised his eyebrows. “You do, too, don’t you, Paxton?”
“I’ve met with the public relations representative.”
“And a team of scientists and engineers, who you’re helping to translate their work into laymen’s terms for the group of students you’re bringing up there—what is it? Next week?”
I nodded, surprised Gunnar knew my schedule.
He stretched his other side as he continued to study me.
Of course. My trip to Johnson was Wildcatter sponsored and would reflect back on the organization. Good thing I enjoyed both kids and aeronautics. It would be that much easier to make a good impression.
“I’ll make a call,” he said.
“Thank you,” I replied, though I wasn’t entirely sure what he meant.
“Nothing to thank me for. You and Hana will have to hash out the details yourselves.” He bent and picked up his towel and water bottle. “For the record, I like my players to be settled,” he added. “I find that once they get into steady, long-term, solid relationships, their focus on the game is elevated.” He waved briefly, turned, and disappeared.
He left me, still pedaling, to ponder that nugget of wisdom and wonder what I could do to prove to Hana that I would never let her down again.
* * *
Despite the seemingly positivestep forward of discussing the situation with Gunnar, my nerves got the better of me that night, and I slept poorly. I wanted to talk to Hana, make sure she was okay, get her to promise to come to Houston sooner. But I couldn’t push her.
She’d always had a backbone of steel. As quiet as she was, as often as people overlooked her for not being more assertive, Hana had a will of iron I could only marvel at. And now that she’d determined a new course for herself, I had to let her take it. Alone. Until—if—she invited me along for the ride.
Puck was at her stick now, and I must wait for the pass…or the pass over.
“What’s up with you?” Cormac asked as I put my wallet and keys in my locker the next morning.
I stared at my phone for another long moment, noting its lack of messages, and sighed. “Nothing.”
“Not nothing,” Maxim said. “You dropped a serious emotional bomb on us yesterday?—”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said.
“I get that.” Cruz peered at me from my other side. His expression was kindly—at least I thought it was through the beard. “But we’re here to listen. And to help.”
“We wereawesomewith Adam yesterday,” Stolly pointed out. “He and Naomi are solid again, thanks to our fabulous life advice.”
Cormac shook his head in mock disappointment. “You offered nothing to that conversation, Stol.”
“Shove it up your ass, Mac. I was on it like a freaking bonnet.” Stol puffed out his chest and grinned. “I’m a relationship guru.”
I glanced up at the guys. “Well, Mr. Guru, here’s one for you: Hana told me she had a miscarriage after I broke up with her. I didn’t know because, you know, I broke up with her and my dad got me a new phone. But yeah…I could’ve had a kid. One that’s older than all of yours.”
Cormac whistled, and Cruz shook his head, clucking. Maxim leaned forward, his thick biceps bulging and his pale eyes icy-sharp. “That’s…fuck, that’s a lot,” he murmured.
He wasn’t wrong.
“This is what’s been bothering you for months?” Cormac asked.
