I barely have the strength to smile. I down the last of the wine. "Also I am drunk," I add. "But like very eloquently drunk."
"You are beautifully wasted," he says, still grinning.
"Thank you," I say, deadly serious. "That means a lot."
I see Gio getting up.
Wait. Hold on. That is not in the script.
I turn to the guy next to me. "Why is he coming over here?"
He does not answer. He just shrugs and laughs like this is the funniest thing he ever sees.
Did he realize I am talking about him?
Did I say his name out loud? I do not even remember.
I ask again with my eyes. The guy just does the same shrug.
Useless. Random people. What did I expect.
Gio keeps walking closer and… I don’t know.
He does not look like the usual Gio. He looks a little… colder. Then he speaks.
Not to me. To the guynextto me.
"Lorenzo," he says. "We are heading out. You coming?"
Lorenzo. LORENZO.
I turn. Stare at the boy next to me. He is sipping wine, casual as ever. He turns to me. Smiles.
I want to die. "You are—"
"Cousin," Gio says flatly. "Didn’t he mention that?"
I turn fully now. Look at Lorenzo.
He raises both hands in mock innocence, grinning. "Oops."
Fuck me. I just told Gio’s cousin, the man’s actualfamily, how badly I want to climb him like a tree.
How obsessed I am.
How down bad I am for him.
I cannot believe this.
I actually want the ground to open up and swallow me whole.
Right here, right now. No funeral, no goodbyes. I seriously embarrassed myself like that.
Why. Why. Why.
Why me.
Why tonight.
