"Exactly. But like… in real life. And it is not fun. It is fucking painful. Because I cannot do anything."
"Why not?"
I let out a bitter laugh.
"Because my father would literally kill him. Or me. Or both. He already hates his guts. He even slapped me because he found out about our kiss. Gio does not know though."
"Damn," he says, still calm, but amused. "This is juicier than anything my friends are talking about right now."
I drop my head into my hand.
"I am so screwed, man," I mutter.
He grins. "So what is the story, huh? You in love with him or just want a piece of that?"
I finally turn to him, blink hard, then lean forward and gently grab the collar of his shirt.
"I amruinedfor him, man," I shout over the loud music. "Like, actually brain-damaged."
He laughs, but I am not kidding. Not even a little.
"I thought I was straight," I say. "Swear to God. I was living a calm, hetero life. Then Gio walked back into my life with those shoulders, and I started fantasizing about stuff like resting my legs on them."
The guy chokes on his drink, laughing.
"Oh, shit! Damn. I like you already."
"Yeah," I nod. "He could even tell me to drop to my knees and I would not even ask why. I would just do it. I would not even care if he left me there."
"You are gone, man," he says, laughing under his breath.
I turn to him, desperate.
I grab his shoulders, not rough, but not gentle either, and pull him a little closer, like I need him to feel this. "I am serious," I slur, my forehead almost touching his.
"Listen to me, random guy!"
He raises his hands like okay, okay, but he is still grinning. I squeeze his shoulders a little tighter.
"Normally I am all about doing the right thing. But if Gio asks me to hide a body, I am already digging. He could literally ruin my life. Like, fully wreck it. Burn everything down, walk out without looking back, and I would still probably defend him. I would be like, well, he is just misunderstood, officer. Look at his face, how could you stay mad atthatface?"
I drop my hand, slump back in my chair.
He stares. "Jesus. So that is the case, huh? I guess you are not so… straight after all?!"
"Fuck being straight, man. Listen. I caught a glimpse of his V-line one day. When his shirt lifted, and I genuinely thought I saw God." I pause. "I am so helpless."
Silence. The guy blinks, stunned.
Then lets out a long exhale, and starts laughing.
"Well, holy shit."
I nod solemnly, eyes back on Gio. "Yeah," I whisper. "Holy shit is exactly where I am at."
He looks over at Gio again, then back at me, raising his glass.
"Cheers to terrible decisions and Gio, I guess." He clinks it lightly against mine.
