I shook my head, laughin’ under my breath while Prestyn splashed water everywhere.
“You worry ‘bout them kids,” Pressure shot back.
“They good,” Renza said. “Kay’Lo babysittin’. That nigga got dad hands.”
I ain’t say nothin’, but just adjusted my grip on Prestyn and kissed the side of his head when he leaned back against me. He settled instantly, his body relaxin’ like he trusted me without question.
Then Pluto came out a minute later with her hair tied up, and her sundress flowin’, lookin’ calm in that way only she could. She walked straight to Pressure, wrapped her arms around his waist, and kissed him like she wasn’t worried about him smellin’ like charcoal and stress.
“Do not burn the food,” she told him, laughin’ against his chest.
“I got it,” Pressure said, confident as hell for no reason.
Pluto looked at the grill, then at Renza. “He lyin’, ain’t he?”
Renza took a sip of his drink. “Big lies.”
I laughed again, liftin’ Kaylon out the water this time, holdin’ him up so he could see Prestyn splashin’ around.
“You see yo’ brother?” I said to him soft. “That’s what reckless look like.”
Kaylon blinked slow, drool slidin’ down his chin.
Then, somethin’ in my mood switched.
I ain’t even have to turn around to know she was there.
That shift in the air hit my chest first, like somebody knocked the wind outta me without touchin’ me. My hands tightened around Kaylon without me meanin’ to, my stomach pullin’ in on itself, and when I finally glanced up, there she was.
Toni…
She walked out with Sha’Nelle, both of ‘em laughin’ about somethin’, but the sound felt far away, like my ears stopped workin’ right. She had on this strapless sundress, a deep orange that set her skin off crazy, and made her glow without even tryin’. The slit ran up her thigh just enough to remind a nigga exactly how sexy she was, and her titties sat perfect in that dress like they had they own mind. The lil’ tattoos she had caughtthe sun every time she moved, glistenin’ against her smooth chocolate skin, and her natural hair was out, long and flowin’ down her back like she ain’t have a care in the world.
I felt my jaw tighten before I even realized it, my teeth grindin’ together while my eyes stayed locked on her longer than I meant to. She looked too fuckin’ good, the kind of good that made a nigga chest feel weak and his pride kick in at the same time, ‘cause seein’ her like that reminded me exactly what I was missin’ and exactly why this shit hurt the way it did.
My heart started actin’ stupid.
It felt like weeks since I seen her, even though I knew it ain’t been that long. It felt like my body remembered her before my mind caught up, like every cell in me leaned toward her without askin’ permission.
She looked up, and our eyes locked.
And just like that, all the shit I been pushin’ down came rushin’ back up.
The arguments, the pills, the hurt and the shit I said that I wish I could rip back out my mouth. The way she cried and walked away. The way the house felt empty without her breath in it. All that shit.
I broke eye contact first.
I hated that I did, but I wasn’t ready.
I lifted Kaylon higher, kissed his cheek loud as hell, then dipped back into the water, swimmin’ a few feet away like that could save me from what I was feelin’. Prestyn squealed again, followin’ me on his float and splashin’ like nothin’ in the world was wrong.
Toni laughed but then it faded. I could feel her eyes on me even when I wasn’t lookin’, and that shit made my chest ache in a way I ain’t wanna sit with. I had been tryna give her space. I been tryna respect her boundaries, and tryna do everything rightfor once, and that shit felt harder than any violent decision I ever made.
Pressure glanced between us, clockin’ everything without sayin’ shit. He always did that. He ain’t jump in or push. He just let shit breathe.
Pluto smiled at Toni and Sha’Nelle, and waved them over like nothin’ was tense, like this was just another family day.
And that’s what fucked me up the most.
