“That ain’t fair!” she yelled. “That is not fuckin’ fair, Kay’Lo!”
“Oh now you wanna yell,” I shot back. “You ain’t have shit to say when you was sneakin’ around though.”
“You act like I wanted to do this!” she screamed. “You act like I woke up and said, fuck it, let me lie to my husband for fun! I was scared!”
“Scared of what?” I fired back.
“You!” she yelled. “I was scared of you!”
That one always hit, but I was too far gone to give a fuck.
“I was scared of how you was gon’ react,” she kept goin’, her voice crackin’. “I was scared you was gon’ tell me no. I was scared you wouldn’t listen. We both know you would’ve told me I didn’t need birth control and that we was havin’ a baby whether I was ready or not.”
I shook my head, still not tryna hear that shit.
“So instead of talkin’ to me, you moved in silence and made me look stupid.”
“I was protectin’ myself,” she snapped. “And let’s not act like you some innocent ass nigga in all this.”
My head snapped up. “What the fuck that mean?”
She pointed at me, her voice shakin’ but loud. “You! You the one pacing this house like a fuckin’ madman. You the one tearin’ shit up. This ain’t what the fuck I signed up for, nigga.”
That shit lit me up.
“Oh so now I’m the fuckin’ problem?” I asked. “You lied, but I’m the problem? I do every fuckin’ thing you ask me to do, but I’m the fuckin’ problem? Get the fuck outta here, bruh.”
“Yeah!” she yelled. “You are! You unstable as hell and you know it. And speakin’ of pills, let’s talk about how you don’t even take your shit like you supposed to.”
“I don’t give a fuck about them fuckin’ pills!” I snapped. “Matter fact, I ain’t never takin’ them bitches again.”
She laughed, bitter and wild. “See? This is exactly why I didn’t tell you. You don’t listen. You just explode and everybody else gotta deal with it.”
Somethin’ dark rose up in me then, somethin’ I should’ve swallowed.
“I don’t even know if I can trust you,” I said. “Fuck, at this point I don’t even know what’s real. I don’t even know if that shit you told me about bein’ molested is even true.”
The sound she made was sharp and broken, like the air got punched out her chest.
And before I could even process what I said…
SMACK!
Her hand connected with my face so hard my head snapped to the side.
The room went dead silent…
I turned back slow and looked at her, ready to grab her ass by her fuckin’ throat, my jaw flexin’ and my chest heavin’.
“Slap me again, girl.” I said low, starin’ right in her eyes. “I fuckin’ dare you.”
She ain’t hesitate.
SMACK!
“Or what, nigga?” she screamed. “Or fuckin’ what? You gon’ shoot or whoop on me like you do these niggas? Nigga, do somethin’! I fuckin’ dare you!”
I stood there with my fists clenched, my breath heavy, every muscle in my body tight as hell, but I ain’t touch her. I just couldn’t. loved her too much.
