He couldn’t do that to her. He also didn’t think he could endure another minute with her in the cottagewithoutdoing that — or worse, saying something he’d regret.
I need to get my head right.
He needed to get out of the cottage. He needed space. Even knowing that would probably only make his instincts worse, that his stomach turned at just the thought, Clark couldn’t think of any other solution. Distance was the only way he could give her the time she clearly needed.
“Clark?”
He blinked. Focusing back on Nelly’s face, he found her expression pulled tight with concern. “Are you okay? You look—”
Bracing his palms against the edge of the table, he tried to push himself back but couldn’t quite manage it. Instead, he held himself there as he forced out the words, “I think I gotta go home for a minute, sugar.”
“What? Why?” She glanced toward the door before her gaze snapped back to him. “Oh, do you want to get your stuff?”
“No, I just need some space.”
Nelly’s expression went curiously blank. “Space?”
“Yeah.” He forced a smile. “I’m pretty antsy. Need to stretch my legs. Check on the ranch. See if I can get someone up here to tow my truck. That sort of thing.”
There was a beat of strained silence before she asked, “Will you be back tonight? I thought maybe I could cook us something special and…”
He wasn’t sure what she saw on his face, but whatever it was, the sight of it made the words die on Nelly’s lips.
Clark was used to being liked, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t broken his fair share of hearts over the years. He knew the sick, twisty feeling that came with seeing hurt on a woman’s face. That didn’t prepare him for the staggering sort of guilt he felt when it wasNellylooking at him like that.
And then the expression vanished.
“Okay!” Her voice was suddenly all cheeriness as she stood up abruptly from her seat and began to clear their dishes. She didn’t look at him as she worked, plucking plates and silverware from the table with quick, jerky movements.
“I totally get it. You’ve been stuck in this tiny house for days. You’re probably dying to get out.” Arms full, she spun on her heel and walked briskly into the kitchen area. With her back to him, she added, “We should take some time for ourselves. No need to rush things, especially with Moonset coming up. It’s probably too soon to spend the holiday together anyway.”
Too soon?Clark narrowed his eyes at his mate’s slim back, watching as she carefully placed their dishes in the sink. Aware that she didn’t deserve his temper, he did his best to keep his tone level when he replied, “Sugar, I wanted to spend the holiday with you even when you wouldn’t speak to me, remember?”
He needed space, but that didn’t mean he was willing to let that shit stand. She could be upset all she wanted, of course, but he wouldn’t stand for her making herself think he didn’twantto be with her.
Her tone was still incongruously bright when she answered, “But you’re leaving, so I guess that changed.”
“Nothing’s changed. I just need to breathe for a bit, Nelly.”
“Okay.” The sound of the faucet turning on filled the ensuing silence.
Finally, when he couldn’t stand it any longer, Clark stomped his way over to her. Bracing his hands against the counter on either side of the sink, he pressed his front against her back and rumbled, “Sugar, I can’t tell you how badly I want to stay. The idea of walking out that door makes me feel like I’m thinking about tearing off a limb. I don’twantto go. But being this close to you without—”Claiming you. Being claimed. Having your trust, wholly and completely. Knowing what to do toearnit.
It wasn’t the lack of sex that twisted him up. It was the unfulfilled need to feelowned.Whole. Like they were one.
The fact that Nelly still feared what she’d find if she went looking into his past meant that she wasn’t ready to be there with him. The lack of marking and sex was just added pressure to the real issue.
Trust.
He sucked in a breath through his teeth. “This thing… it’s this huge weight on the back of my mind. It won’t go away. And I can’t stomach pushing you into something you’re not ready for or getting upset about stuff that’s not your fault, so Ihaveto get some space.”
Nelly snatched up the little strawberry-shaped sponge and began to scrub furiously at a plate. Her eyes remained fixed on her task when she demanded, “Who said I wasn’t ready?”
He gripped the countertop so hard, something cracked. “Sugar, a woman who’s ready tells her parents about her new mate.”
“That’s not— It’sprivate.”She scrubbed harder, making a thick lather with her citrusy soap on a dish that was no doubt already sparkling clean. “They don’t need to know everything, especially when it’s so new and precious and—”
“Nelly.” Clark stooped to rest his forehead on the curve of her shoulder. Closing his eyes, he took just a second to luxuriate in her scent and her warmth before he asked, “Are you ready?”
