“Yes. Keep things how they are and we’ll just go from there,” he says like it’s simple and I realize then that Gavin truly doesn’t know what the next step in this process is and neither do I.
“Maybe we should ask Lincoln or Aiden what to do,” I suggest.
Gavin grimaces at me like I’ve said the most inconceivable shit on the planet.
“Aiden I’d consider. But there’s no way in fuck I’m taking relationship advice from Lincoln.”
“Fine. Just text me and let me know when you’ll be home, and sort this mood out before then, yeah?”
He brushes me off, and I sigh. I know my brother well enough that he needs time to come to his own conclusions and I’ll honor his wishes. I won’t say how I’m feeling or how he’s feeling to Kate, however it won’t stop me from doing everything in my power to make sure that these feelings aren’t unrequited.
That would honestly be the biggest fuck you the universe could throw us right now. It would be our punishment for being so slutty for so long.
Maybe my confidence is over inflated, but I don’t think that’s the case. Kate might have mixed feelings and could still not like the idea of entering another relationship, let alone a complicated one with me and Gavin, but there’s no way she doesn’t also feel this connection. I just need to prove it.
I makesure that I’m louder than I would normally be as I unlock the door and walk into the family room.
Kate’s on the couch reading a book, her big round glasses perched on her nose as she places the paperback on her chest and gives me a smile.
“Hey, Ben. I didn’t think I’d be seeing either of you till later tonight.”
“Not much going on. I worked late last night, so Gavin has it covered. How did you know it was me?” I ask, sitting down on the couch, and propping her legs on my lap before kneading her calves.
“Well, Gavin’s hair is slightly longer than yours right now and also the way you walked in here with a big smile on your face.”
“Fair enough. You doing okay? Gavin told me about last night and this morning.”
“I’m still processing. It’s hard to imagine that this person I spent so much of my life with could be this vicious. It’s almost like the person I was married to doesn’t even exist anymore. The tracker really…” She stops speaking and shrugs like she can’t find the words.
“Do you want to go out and get your mind off everything? We could go out to eat, take the boat out? Or we could order a ridiculous amount of food and stay in.”
“Would it be tremendously boring to just stay in?”
“Do you want to get high and order takeout?” I offer and she bites her lip, a wide grin taking over her face.
“I haven’t smoked pot since college.”
“Oh, innocent Kate. No one says that anymore and I have edibles. No smoking necessary.”
“I probably shouldn’t.”
“We could just get food, watch some mindless show and enjoy each other’s company.”
She swallows thickly before shaking her head. “No. Let’s do it.”
“What are you feeling? Pizza, Chinese, Indian?”
“How do you feel about chicken tikka masala on pizza?” she asks playfully.
“I think you’re onto something,” I say, placing the order on the app for both restaurants, before going to my room and grabbing the small plastic cylinder of edibles I picked up for my clearly medicinal use.
When I come back to the living room, Kate’s sitting there with a blanket on her lap, and I plop down next to her. She holds out her hand and I put it in her palm.
“You could cut it in half—” I say too late as she drops the small candy into her mouth and chews.
“So, how long does it take?”
“Like forty-ish minutes?”
