“I’m sorry, Pen,” I tell her.
She rests her cheek on her knee and looks at me.
“I haven’t told anyone else.”
“Why?”
She shrugs and sighs. “I think because I’m so fucking mad. Between what happened…” she trails off, giving me a pointed look and sighs again. “Then this? How much can I take until I fall apart, Linc?”
I stare at her for a long moment, never having had such a vulnerable conversation with her. I’ve had the same thoughts and I haven’t gone through something like this.
“Do you want to let some of that anger out?” I ask her.
The only thing I can do is come up with a solution for that at this point, nothing else. Everything else in her life is a fucking mess.
But rage? Anger? That’s something I know how to handle.
“I don’t want to go to the freaking batting cages,” she says.
“Oh, I have something much better in mind.”
She blinks at me a few times, and swallows.
“I’ll get changed.”
We signthe waiver and put on the white hazmat suits and goggles. There still isn’t a smile or tear written on Penny’s face, but she didn’t complain when she learned where I was bringing her.
She grabs a crowbar and I take a baseball bat as the kid working gives us safety protocol and unlocks the room.
When we enter, there’s just a ton of shit to break; TVs, glass, bottles, printers, lamps, truly just a bunch of random old shit.
There’s no music, just silence as we approach.
Penny takes in the room, but doesn’t do anything right away.
I pull back and slam on the printer in front of me, causing her to startle. I put all my weight behind it, imagining the printer is everything that doesn’t make sense in my life right now.
Why can’t I be a better man? Why am I the way I am? Is there a point in my life where I’ll actually be fucking happy? Not to mention all these mixed, confusing feelings I’m having about Penny.
The printer is fully smashed, and I look over at Penny.
“Go on, smash the TV,” I tell her.
She looks skeptical, but she rears back the crowbar and hits it. The screen shatters and she looks shocked before she hits it repeatedly.
I just watch her, the way she’s over exerting herself when she’s already spent. The way she screams after each crunch of the old TV. Her shoulders sag after about the tenth hit.
The crowbar hits the floor with a clang and she falls apart.
Sobs rack through her body as I approach her.
Penny doesn’t even hesitate as she grabs me around the waist, still fully in her hazmat suit, as she throws off the gogglesand cries. The action is so reminiscent of the other night, but this time she isn’t running away from me.
Her tears soak my chest as I rub her back.
“Let it all out,” I tell her softly.
My chin is pressed against her hair as I hold her tight as she lets out all the built up emotion.
