Two daysand no sign of Penny. Not a single peep.
Aiden hasn’t mentioned her, she hasn’t asked for a ride to work, and family dinner is tomorrow.
Penny never bails on seeing her parents—ever.
It’s a disgusting sinking feeling I’m not familiar with settling in my stomach. I need to know that she’s okay. She was already struggling before all of this, and I probably just made it worse.
I inhale deeply and leave my apartment and take the stairs. I’m standing in front of her door for a long time, contemplatingif she needs her space or not. Maybe my knocking on her door will just make this all fucking worse.
Fuck it.
I tap my knuckles against the door, wondering what type of state she’ll be in.
When she opens the door, I’m confused.
Her hair is piled on top of her head in a bun and her eyes are red, but not from crying, like she hasn’t been sleeping.
“Hey,” she says in low rasp.
I search her face, and it takes her a moment until her eyes finally meet mine. Her pretty blue eyes are bloodshot and she has slight bags under her eyes.
“Penny, are you alright?”
She walks into her apartment, not answering my question. I’m stunned for a moment, but follow her inside.
She sits on her couch, her legs pressed against her chest, as she makes herself as small as possible. I sit next to her and feel like I’m about to talk down a wounded animal.
Penny nods to her coffee table. I look at her for a few long seconds before looking at the coffee table. There’s a hand-written letter along with the report.
I grab the letter first.
Penny,
I understand why you wanted to find me, why you’d want to know where you came from. I can’t blame you for searching for answers, but I wish you hadn’t. It’s not that I don’t have love for you, that I don’t care about the woman you’ve become.
It’s because no matter how much I love you, how much I want the best for you, I can never have you in my life.
It took me too long to realize I wasn’t strong enough to take care of you. I was young; I was being abused, and I didn’t have any other options.
I’m still on a healing journey of my own, and meeting you would disrupt that. I’m sorry, that’s all I can give you.
You deserve better, and it’s why you couldn’t be in my life. I’m happy to hear that your adoptive family treated you well and that the cycle ends with you.
I will not tell you who your father is, and I ask that you don’t go looking. I promise you will not like what you find. I have enclosed some medical family history for your private investigator.
While I doubt this was what you were hoping to find at the end of the tunnel, I hope I can bring some peace into your life as well. I had no other children. I never married again, and never plan to.
I will always carry a piece of you with me, even when it hurts.
May your life be fruitful and full of joy and may you never endure the pain you would have if I had made a different choice.
I’m sorry.
I put the handwritten note down and pick up the private investigator’s file, who suggests not telling Penny her biological mother’s true identity, but that she has been found and he was able to have her write a letter.
I look back at Penny, who is completely emotionless. It’s unlike her.
The woman nearly wears her heart on her sleeve.
