“Something you didn’t do with Eros,” she claps back and I laugh.
“Definitely not. Part of me feels sorry for Juliet. She doesn’t know who she’s dating. “
“Well, you have three days to find someone and keep up with your quota.”
“I might give a couple of cupids a heart attack if I actually pull this off,” I say.
“We can only hope.”
“All right, well here goes nothing.”
I teleport to Target, a common hang out of the angels, so I can shoot my shot.
The front aisles are covered in teddy bears, flowers, and skimpy lingerie.
It’s beautiful.
Valentine’s Day truly is the best, and I will not let the cupid version of a pile of trash ruin this holiday for me.Maybe while I’m here, I can shoot some lust or love arrows.
As I walk down the aisle, I see a man holding two bouquets and I can’t help but think how precious it is that he’s buying his lover so many flowers. Love is certainly not dead, at least not on Earth. From what I’ve heard from other cupids some of the other planets are truly struggling. I know I’m fortunate to work on this planet, and I take my job very seriously.
If there’s anything I can take pride in, it’s knowing that I’m a good cupid. My senses are sharp, and my aim is immaculate. I smile to myself, the tension from Eros’ rude words leaving me as I watch the humans shop for their lovers.
His friend walks over, and they laugh together.
“I’ll drop one off to Parvati in the morning and the other to Hannah in the evening,” he says.
“You’re a pig, you know that?” I shout out at him, knowing he won’t hear me.
Humans are lucky that they don’t hear all the horrible things we say about them, because sometimes they can truly be awful. The only thing that keeps me going is the true love matches. That’s what makes being a cupid worth it. And the amount of fucking these people do, that also makes it totally worth it. I might be a bit of a voyeur, but such is life as a cupid.
I want to shoot Parvati and Hannah with love arrows to fall in love with each other and ditch this scum bag. There’s truly nothing better than a love match between two scorned love interests. Maybe I’m a tad more petty in nature than I realized.
I make a mental note to circle back to that potential love match between the two unknowing girlfriends, but I’m angel hunting. I need a date more than I need to teach this cheating frat-bro a lesson.
I find two male angels and two female angels hanging out in the decor aisle. All of them look at me suspiciously and I give them a wide smile. While I’m perfectly pink all over, they are shimmering with gold.
Pretty.
The cupids would lose their fucking minds if I were able to snag one of these gold studs for the ball. Gold against pink would look absolutely stunning, and plus it’s no secret that cupids are considered a lesser form of angel. I’d say we’re no less important though. What’s the world without a little love?
“Hi there,” I say with a wave.
“Oh, just ignore her and maybe she’ll go away,” one of the female angels says.
Well, that’s very un-angelic.
“Nice setup you have here. It smells like at least eighty different types of candles,” I blurt out, not knowing what to say. How do I tell them I would like one of them to come with me to a party that always turns out to be an orgy in order to make my ex-boyfriend jealous?
Wait… do angels have sex?
“Do angels have sex?” I ask and they all gasp, scandalized. So… I guess that’s a no.Shit.
“Heavens help me,” the one male angel says, teleporting away.
“I forgot how blasphemous cupids were.”
“Without love or lust the humans wouldn’t fuck like bunnies and reproduce, and you wouldn’t have a job either, pal,” I reply, wanting to take a lust arrow out so they can realize how awesome sex is.
