“Z, this is huge for us. We’ve been fighting to get this deal for over a year?—”
“I don’t care,” I retort. “I’m done.”
“Look, I get that you’re mad. I’ll reschedule, and when you calm down, we will talk about it,” Faiz mutters, grabbing his phone and dismissing my feelings.
“I am calm,” I tell him. “I was angry and hurt last night, and I have been hurting for years, but now I’m just . . . done. I can’t do this anymore. It’s not just the deal.”
“What are you talking about?” he asks as he stands.
“This. Us.” I gesture between us and the empty space filled with things we never say.
“Look, why don’t you go lie down? It’s fine. We don’t have to go to the meeting,” he dismisses.
“It’s not just the meeting!” I yell before taking a deep breath. “I can’t do this anymore. I mean it, Faiz. I can’t keep letting you break my heart. I’m done. I’m so tired.”
“Tired?” he repeats as he stares at me, something finally coming to life in his eyes. “I know I haven’t been the best partner, but Zia, it’s me. It’s us.” I stare, and he takes a deep breath. “Okay, why don’t we take a little break? I can go somewhere for a few days?—”
“No, I’m tired of this. I’m tired of you cheating on me time and time again, then crawling back into bed with me with their smell still on you. Both of us always pretend like nothing happened. I’m tired of being nothing but a business partner. I’m tired of being alone in this relationship. I’m tired of loving you. I’m tired of being betrayed and hurt. I’m . . . so fucking tired.” My vision blurs with tears once more as I stare at the man I thought would be my forever. When did it become so hard? “I love you, Faiz, but I am not in love with you anymore, and I can’t let you break my heart again. I won’t recover.”
“Zia,” he whispers, reaching for me for the first time in years.
I step back. “I’ll get my stuff and be out today. Do not worry about it, Faiz. People change, life . . . relationships. I guess ours did, but I was so intent on holding onto you that I didn’t even notice. That is my problem, not yours. That doesn’t excuse what you did, cheating is never the answer, but I’m to blame as well. I let it happen, thinking it was normal, but I don’t want it to be normal. I want to be happy, and despite everything, I want you to be happy as well, and you aren’t. We are both trapped by duty and promises made between two naïve kids. Well, I release you from that, Faiz.”
“Zia,” he whispers again, tears cascading down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
“I know. I am too,” I murmur as I wipe my tears as my heart breaks, but it’s a sensation I am used to by now. “It’s okay. Some things have to break apart. We are just one of those things. Nothing lasts forever, even if we wish it could.”
We stare at each other for a moment before I realize he doesn’t have anything else to say, silent tears streaming down his face. I swallow hard and roll my lips in. “I’ll get going now. My stuff will be gone before dark. I’ll let my family know.” I turn on my heel and hurry away before I shatter into a pile on the floor and beg him to love me enough.
I won’t do it.
I can’t. I owe myself more, but it hurts.
I don’t know what’s worse—the fact that I’m voluntarily walking away from the person I love or that he doesn’t stop me.
One resounding thing is evident.
It’s over.
It’s time to start again.
I don’t know why I go to my father. I have no idea how he will react, and that worries me, but it’s where I find myself while my new house is being organized.
I’m sort of numb, as if this isn’t really happening.
His guards let me in without much protest, and I drift through what used to be my house before I find myself in the kitchen, where he’s reading a newspaper. He looks frailer than I remember, but as he turns to me, I see nothing but strength in his eyes.
“Zia, I didn’t expect you today.” He smiles, but it fades when he gets a good look at me. Call it a father’s intuition or just his instincts, but he stands swiftly. “What is it? What happened?”
Titling my chin up, I clench my fists as I drop to my knees in shame. I couldn’t hold onto Faiz, and because of it, our family will suffer. “I’m sorry, Father. I know you have expectations for our family, but Faiz and I broke up.”
He’s quiet for a moment, and I keep my head bowed. He’s a fearsome man, he has to be to lead our family, but when his hand lands on my shoulder, it’s in comfort, not in punishment, and his voice is thick. “Stand up right now.”
I hesitate before climbing to my feet, unable to meet his eyes. I should have made it work just for our family and what we needed from it.
“Zia, look at me.”
I bring my eyes to his at his command, and his face softens as he runs his gaze over me. “Oh, my boy.”
