Spencer
Fatigue weighs Scarlett down; her swollen eyes are weighed with heaviness. Lying on her bed, I hold her tightly. She rests her head on my chest, and my hands brush along her back, easing her into a near-comatose state. She fights sleep before looking up at me.
“Spence, I am going to talk now, and I need you to take it. I need you to hear me, and really hear what I am saying.” I squeeze her tightly, then release her, allowing Scarlett to sit up.I sit up, backing myself up against her headboard. She crosses her legs, then takes a deep breath. “For a long time, I would tell everyone I was fine, and if you knew the thoughts that spiraled through my mind, you would know it was a lie. I show no signs of hurting because I don’t want attention, and I don’t want anyone else fighting for me.” I swallow down my emotions. “I need to work on myself. To fix what is broken, to walk through the smoke of the never-ending flames. I am at war with myself, Spence, and it’s brutal. I need to win this fight on my own so I can emerge stronger than before. I need to walk this battle alone, so I don’t burn you in the process.”
Taking in a jagged breath, she falters as a single tear falls from her eye. “I am broken right now. If you love me like you say you do, then I need you to let me do this alone.” Leaning forward just slightly, I wipe her soft cheek, free from the wet tears. “I love you, Spencer. I love the way you love me. But, I need to love myself too, and right now, I don’t.” I pull her into me, holding her, tightening, wishing I could love her enough that she could love herself. Fighting for her to see herself, as I see her. “All my life, I have wanted to be enough. For as far back as I can remember, I just wanted to matter enough for someone to stay. To love me, without hurting me. Each time I gave a part of myself to someone, they burned me. They took the love I was giving, and they used it to hurt me. My father was the first man who broke my heart, the one person who was supposed to show a girl how she should be loved, and he broke me. My mother, the one who is supposed to protect her children at all costs, handed me over to the devil himself and watched him feast on my blood like it was dessert. Every time I feel your love, it scares me, Spence.”
I rub the back of her head, as her breath shakes, I whisper into her ear, “I will love you enough for both of us, until youcan love yourself. Never would I hurt you or take your love as a sacrifice. What they showed you was not love, Scarlett. I will show you true love, and baby, it isn’t supposed to hurt. I will never hurt you.” Taking a deep breath, I pull back just enough to look her in the eyes. “I will let you do this, but I will be here, whenever that battle is over, and if there comes a time when your armor is fading and you're about to lose, run to me, baby. If the war gets too strong for you on your own, give it all to me. All your pain, trauma, anger, and sadness; let me carry that weight, lean on me, use me, and while you are binding your armor, I will shape those feelings into something fierce and beautiful for when you are ready to take it back. You’re not alone in this battle…but I will let you be the first to fight in it.” I slowly kiss her lips, kissing her gently, fueled by hope and love. “Stay with me tonight? Stay with me, and let me hold you.” My tone is gravelly, a plea.
She nods, standing up, and we head over to Levi’s room. Opening the door, he is lying on his bed with his phone above his face. Scarlett walks over to his bedside. “Hey. You should call Maddie. She texted me, wondering if you’re alright.” I watch as Levi’s smile returns. “Go, get your girl. I’m going to stay with Spencer tonight, so don’t worry about me.” He jumps up and death-grips Scarlett in a bear hug. “I love you, and I'm sorry for ruining your birthday.” He shakes his head and kisses the top of her head.
“You didn’t ruin it. You are standing here, and that’s all I could hope for.” Then he waves and heads downstairs. Scarlett and I follow him out, making our way to my house.
I know my mom is probably pacing the floor, terrified of my absence and lack of texting. To be fair, it’s been a whirlwind. I open the door slowly, walking in first, pulling Scarlett's hand, leading the way. My mom jumps up from her chair, about torush to me, either to give me a hug or an ass chewing, honestly, they would probably both happen simultaneously. I give her a look, and she stops. Then she sees Scarlett, and my mom gives a small wave, and her eyes drop with sadness. I know she sees the red-rimmed eyes and the raw cheek with fresh tear streaks. I give my mom a nod that says, 'I got this,' and she gives me a small smile, with a slight nod, before sitting back down in her chair. Relief washes over her as she slouches back into her seat. I am home. I might be late, but I am here.
Stepping into my room, I feel drained, I am tired, and emotional. I need to wash off the smoke from the bonfire and the stale cigarette. “I need to shower.” I run my hand through my hair. I don’t want to leave her alone out here. “Join me?” Scarlett lifts her head, her eyes darting between mine, looking to see if she misheard me. “Come on, Scar.” Extending my hand out to her, she grabs hold and follows me into the bathroom.
Locking the bathroom door, I start the shower. I have never showered with anyone. I have never stood before anyone completely naked, but I want to with her. Turning around, I place my hands on the hem of Scarlett’s shirt. “Can I undress you?” A faint yes falls from her soft lips. My eyes scan her perfect, smooth skin. Removing her shirt and bra, my fingertips tingle with curiosity as I run my fingers down her stomach until they reach the top of her shorts. My eyes roam freely over her chest, her ample breasts rounded and showing signs of desire. Beautiful. As her pink nipples harden at my touch, my thumb grazes the peaked points so gently it makes her shudder.
Moving slowly to unbutton her jean shorts, her eyes lock in with mine as I slide her shorts and underwear down her legs. Scarlett stands before me bare and so fucking beautiful. My eyes scan her body, taking in every mole, dimple, and imperfection that is nothing but perfection on her body. My fingers slide downher arm until my hand meets hers, leading her into my steaming shower.
I watch as she steps in, allowing the waterfall shower to cascade around her, drowning her sorrows and fallen tears.If I could have it my way, no tears would ever fall from despair again. I quickly undressed myself before stepping in behind her, allowing her to take on the majority of the water. She turns, looking at me with wide eyes, before her hand finds my stomach. Her soft touch traces along my abs, running her fingers down my happy trail and stopping just above my pelvis.Her touch is like heaven; her scent is like divine love. She takes in my nakedness, studying me as I have studied her. Her eyes fall to my hardened shaft, aching for her, and her touch, but I know she is vulnerable; still, it can’t help the overwhelming sense of need coursing through me. My body needs her, like one needs water.
Her hands wander, following her eyes, moving across my arms and shoulders, sliding back down my chest. Rounding her touch across my sides and down my hips, she shyly slides her hand across my straining cock, making it twitch with anticipation. Her eyes drift up to find mine, and a solemn smile falls across her lips.
“Turn around,” I whisper. She complies reluctantly, turning her body away from mine. I pump shampoo into my palm and lather her long hair in sudsy bubbles, washing away the day as I run my soap-filled hands along the base of her neck. I knead between her neck and shoulders, pressing my fingers into the soft tissue, before gently rolling her head into my grasp. I turn her around slowly, allowing the water to rinse her hair as I slide my fingers through the long tangles. Her smile reaches her eyes, showing a hint of My Scar, as she blushes, her cheeks warming to my touch. “There she is.” She smiles, knowing exactly what I’m talking about. She’s coming back to me slowly, no longer awalking, emotionless zombie. Lathering the cloth with soap, I drag it across her body.
Washing her shoulders and arms, moving my way towards her stomach, moving too slowly to wash her plump breasts. She sucks in a deep breath before she places her hand on top of mine, pushing my hand harder into her. Her eyes darted from my eyes to my lips. I move the washcloth down her stomach, teasing the top of her vagina. Moving from her front, around to her backside, I wash her round, petite butt, moving in circles while also bringing her flush with my chest.
The water rinses her while our hands roam, becoming accustomed to each other's bodies. Lathering my hands in shampoo, I wash my hair, eliminating the smell of smoke. Returning the favor, she takes the cloth, now soap-filled, and drags it across my chest, taking care of me as I just did her. Her extended arm washes my shoulders and neck. “Keep washing me, Scar.” My hands slide with the water, tickling her inner thighs until my finger feels her warmth. Dragging one finger through her slit, making her hips jerk into my hand. “You have no idea how beautiful you are,” I whisper. She shakes her head and looks down. “Scarlett, look at me.”
Hesitantly, she bites her lip, her gaze following the water swirling down the drain. “Scarlett, eyes on me.” Reluctantly, she lifts her eyes to mine. I need her to believe me. “Tell me how beautiful you are.” Shamefully, she turns her eyes to the drain.
Shaking her head, her voice shakes. “I can’t, Spencer.”
Grabbing her face in my hands, “You will tell me one day, Scarlett, but for now, let me show you how beautiful you truly are.”
I run my fingers along the inside of her thigh, teasing her center with my knuckle, making her knees weak as she leans into my chest.
The water rinses away the remaining soap as I move my hand over her body; I then turn the water off. Taking a plush towel, I wrap her up, drying her hair and her body. Then I do the same with myself, before I scoop her up in my arms, walking her to my bed.
Lying down, Scarlett leaves her legs wrapped around my waist, her fingers moving into my hair. “Spence, I want to give you a promise; a promise that this is not goodbye. I want to give you a part of me no one else has ever had before.” I swallow because I want that too. I’ve been ready to take her for months. I have been good, I have waited, deprived myself of what I want, and fuck do I want her. I want all of her, in every form, anyway I can get her, I’ll take it all. I drop my head to her forehead, closing my eyes, trying to find the strength to stop this, to tell her no, she is vulnerable, and I don’t want her to mistake my intentions. Until her lips crash against mine, taking me without hesitation, giving me no choice but to show her exactly how much I want her, too.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Scarlett? Because once I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. I’ve wanted this for too long.” She places her hands on the side of my face, holding her eyes with my own.
“Spencer, I am telling you, I want this. I want you to have this piece of me to hold onto until I come back to you.”
“Fuck it.” I groan into her mouth as her wetness coats my hardened length, which has been starved for months. My hands travel down her fresh body, kissing her like it is the only thing keeping me alive. Her breath is mine, her body is mine, and soon her heart and soul will be mine, just as I am hers. Kissing my waydown her body, her fingers roam and tug on my hair. Driving me mad, I take control, opening her legs and putting her center on display for me.
“I’m going to devour this sweetness with my tongue until you soak my face with your come.” She squirms at my words, arching her back as my finger slides into her and sliding my tongue along her center, making a path that leaves her gripping the sheets. She lets out the sweetest moan, and a rush of desire vibrates through me. Applying pressure to her sweet spot inside, I can feel her muscles constricting as she tries to muffle her moans.
“Spence— oh god— I’m going to—” Her back arches, her legs slam shut, closing my head within them, as she soaks my face. I pump my fingers, letting her ride out her orgasm until she is left breathless, with a heavy chest and a smile that screams she needs more. Crawling up to her, I kiss every inch of her before my eyes meet hers. Scarlett wraps her legs around my waist, stealing my lips as she kisses them furiously.
“You ready, baby?” She nods. Grabbing a condom from the nightstand, she looks at me with curious eyes. “I didn’t lie when I said, I’ve never been with anyone, not in this way. I may be taking your virginity, but Scar, you're taking mine too.” I roll the condom on. “I want this to feel good for you; you’ve got to tell me if it hurts.” Placing myself between her legs, taking in her beauty, her innocence is mine for the taking, and I’m going to devour all of it, and make it mine for keeping.
Leaning over her, I kiss her lips, fighting with her tongue for more taste, more passion, more moans, working my way down, taking her nipples in my mouth, sucking and rolling them lightly on my teeth. The tip of my dick is knocking on her entrance. Her eyes open, fueled by power and devotion, she is ready for this. Slowly, I slide inside, urging her to let me in. Her walls stretch around me. “Fuuuck, Scar, you're so tight. You’re gripping mydick so good, baby.” Slowly, I work myself into her, her legs open wider, begging for more.
“Spence—” She moans into my ear. I slow myself.
