My heart soars.
“But I don’t have protection.”
“I’m on the pill. For my periods,” I breathe, although at this point nothing would stop me. “I’ve never… you don’t have worry about catching anything from me.”
He looks at me with so much desire in the black pools ofhis eyes that my skin tingles. “Me either.” The back of his hand grazes down my cheek. “There will only ever be you.”
That was the first promise over the next two days he would go on to break.
Our mouths slam together again and Zayn rolls me onto my back, moving on top of me, his hips sidling up between mine. My legs open instinctively and wrap around him, giving him complete access to my core, and the feel of him pressed against my most private area with just a few layers of clothes between us is enough to send me delirious with want.
Zayn slows down our kiss and props himself up with an elbow, the other hand roaming freely down my body until it slips underneath my pyjama top, finally making contact with my bare skin.
Shivers erupt across my body. Somewhere in the background, I hear music play. It’s the song from theAmerican Piemovie,Sway. It filters through my mind as Zayn moves between my legs. Clothes are removed, our mouths are still connected, and he takes the gift that I was only ever willing to give to him.
It’s perfectly imperfect.
We fumble. It stings a bit at first, but then I relax as Zayn gives me a moment to adjust while he places feather light kisses all over my face and neck. Then he moves so slowly, so carefully, and it feels so good that I don’t ever want it to stop. And when it does, I send a silent prayer up to God that even though I just snuck my boyfriend into my bedroom and had premarital sex I hope he never, ever takes this boy or this feeling away from me because I would surely die.
The music fades away at the same time we fall away from each other, chests heaving, and I know that song will now forever be the soundtrack to my happiness. I just didn’tknow that very soon, I wouldn’t be able to hear it without feeling like I was being stabbed in the heart with a wooden stake.
“That was…” I don’t even have words. I turn my head to Zayn, who’s already staring at me.
“I know.” He lifts a hand and wipes at my cheek. “Happy tears?”
I nod. I didn’t even realise I was crying.
“The colour of your eyes. Greener than emeralds…” his voice drifts off slowly, his eyes going heavy. “My favourite colour.”
I wakethe next morning to my bed shifting beneath me. It takes me a moment to find my bearings and realise it’s not my bed but Zayn that’s moving to sit up against the headboard, rubbing his eyes with a fist. I’ve never seen sleepy Zayn before, and it’s an endearing sight. My heart swells at the image of his sleep-mussed hair, and just like Zayn said last night, it feels like I get to see a side to him that no one else does.
“Morning.” His voice is gravelly with sleep.
“What time is it?” I groan, peeking out my window. The sky isn’t light enough beyond the sheer curtains for it to be a reasonable hour.
“Time for me to sneak out before I get caught.” He kisses the top of my head. I feel his fingers run through my hair and I let out a ghastly moan.
“I love it when you do that.” I snuggle into his chest, where I just spent the remainder of my night. Zayn’s fingers in my hair are my holy grail.
“I love your hair.”
We stay like this for a few minutes, and I’m glad to note that there’s no awkwardness between us after last night. Finally, Zayn lifts my chin with his fingertips.
“I really have go.”
Sighing, I prop myself up. “Fine. Only because I really do think my mum will kill us both if she finds you here.”
He kisses me softly on my lips before he climbs out of my bed. I follow behind him.
“You are so beautiful,” he mutters, palming my cheek. “I don’t know how I got so damn lucky.”
The fact that he refers to himself as lucky when he’s about to go home to god knows what is outrageous. I tell him as much.
“None of that matters. Not when I have you. You make my life worth living.”
I’m crying again as he climbs out of my window and lands down the side with ease.
“See you later at the library,” he whispers, then he’s gone.
