* * *
Henry and Grace arrived early the next morning, with Reid and Elise not far behind. Though grateful for their presence and support, Sidney felt bad for taking his friends away from their own lives—especially Reid and Elise who’d married only a month ago.
The women joined Angeline in seeing to the funeral arrangements and preparing rooms for guests while the men retreated to the billiard room where they lazily played games to distract Sidney.
“How did this become my life?” Sidney asked, leaning on his pool cue. “Henry, you never thought you would inherit and become the duke. How did you handle it?”
“Not well,” Henry admitted. “It took me longer than it probably should have to wrap my mind around everything that now falls under my purview. And you know how I am, I hate when I can’t do things perfectly, so feeling so out of my element left me rather raw for a while. It really wasn’t until I met Grace that I felt capable of fulfilling my obligations.”
“I understand that,” Sidney said. “I don’t know if I’d be able to do anything right now without Angeline. She’s the only thing preventing me from completely falling apart.”
“I’m glad you have her, but just be sure you can support yourself soon. That’s a lot of weight for her to bear,” Fitz said, ever the protective brother.
Sheepishly, Sidney hung his head. “I know. I don’t deserve her, and it’s not fair of me to rely on her to keep everything running around here, including me.”
“Be kind to yourself, this has been a big blow. It takes time to adjust,” Reid said, squeezing his shoulder as he walked by, positioning himself for his next shot. After sinking three balls before scratching, he looked at Sidney pensively. “Sidney, I don’t think any of us have ever really said this aloud to you, but you know we’re all really proud of you. Over the last few years, you’ve worked hard, and it’s paid off. You’ve been able to make an impact in the party, and even though you’ll now serve in the House of Lords, I think an offer of a leadership position within the Whigs will soon be coming your way. You’ve become the man we always knew you were capable of being, don’t let this set you back.”
“How can it not?” Sidney was not unmoved by Reid’s sentiment, but he felt like he was down at the bottom of a hole and could barely see any light.
“He’s not saying it won’t be hard or that you should remain unaffected,” Henry said. “You loved your brother. This is a large blow, of course it’s going to have a big impact. Just don’t regress to being the man who lived without any sense of responsibility. That’s not possible now.”
“I know it’s hard to see right now,” Fitz added, “but just look at what you have now that you didn’t have before—Angeline and Hazel. If nothing else, pull yourself together for them.”
Sidney knew they were right, and he certainly didn’t wish to wallow, but he couldn’t see a way forward so soon after his life had shifted so completely.
CHAPTER19
Angeline was grateful for their friends arriving so quickly to support Sidney. She knew they would, which was why she sent word to them almost immediately after the tragedy a few days ago. While she wanted them here for Sidney’s sake, she had to admit their presence was a comfort to her as well. Though she hadn’t known Grace and Elise long, they all became close while supporting each other as they reentered society last season.
Grace had made waves as the new Duchess of Carrington, never having been properly introduced to polite society previously, and Elise was newly welcomed back into the fold, having redeemed her reputation after being ruined three years before. As for Angeline, a year and a half after Phillip passing, she had been just starting to dip her toe back into the world of thetonafter emerging from mourning. Now, thankfully they did not hesitate to rally around her and make sure Ravenswood continued to operate as needed. Settling down to tea after a busy afternoon making sure guest rooms were aired out and prepared for expected guests, all three ladies were exhausted.
“I can’t thank you enough for being here,” Angeline said. “I don’t know how much longer I could have handled all of this on my own. Sidney is devastated.”
“How did you come to be here, if I may ask?” Elise inquired. “When exactly did you and Sidney become an item?”
“I’m not entirely sure,” Angeline admitted. “Recently I began to feel differently, more than the friendly affection I’ve always had for him. With us both returning to the family estates here in Kent, we saw each other more frequently and those feelings deepened. Moira told me she suspected he held feelings for me as well. I finally had to face everything, and when we talked, he admitted that he’d loved me for years and had hidden it because I had already found Phillip. It took a while for us to work everything out, but a few weeks ago, we decided to explore if a relationship between us might be possible.”
“That’s so romantic,” Elise said with a sigh. “How has it been going?”
Angeline couldn’t help the smile Elise’s question brought to her face. “It’s going well. He’s been so patient with me as I figure out how to reconcile the love in my heart for Phillip with my renewed feelings for him. And I’d forgotten how wonderful it is to feel cherished.”
Grace gave her beautiful, gentle smile and said, “I always thought there was something between the two of you. He always inquired about you and was greatly concerned for your well-being when you were first coming out of mourning.”
“And oh how the tables have turned,” Angeline quipped, frowning as she returned to the sobering present. “I am terribly concerned for him.”
“We know,” Grace said. “We are too, it’s a profound loss and has impacted his life in more ways than one. Has he said much about his feelings on being the viscount?”
“He hasn’t said much, but it’s apparent he feels the weight of the responsibility. I’m worried about how he’ll manage the stress. It was clear he had been drinking when he joined me in bed the other night.”
Elise’s eyebrows raised with the new bit of information. “Excuse me? I think you need to explain just how far you have developed this relationship with him.”
“It’s not what it sounds like,” Angeline said, blushing. “That first night he needed comfort, and we simply held one another. He actually did the same for me after your wedding, Elise.”
“I’m sorry if that day was difficult for you,” Elise said, worry in her eyes.
“It was fine, I was happy to celebrate you and the love you’ve found with Reid. I had prepared myself for the day, it just brought up a lot of memories. Other things throughout the day made me mourn what I could never have.” Angeline watched as Grace placed a hand on her burgeoning belly. Seeing the direction of her gaze, Grace wordlessly reached over and took Angeline’s hand.
“But maybe you can have that now, with Sidney,” Grace said. “When you marry, you can have the family you always wanted to with him.”
