I follow Julian through the house and up to my room. He remembered the way. I’m surprised he did but maybe I shouldn’t be. He is a vampire, right? They have to have good memories. Then there’s the fact that I think he’s obsessed with me.
I bite the inside of my cheek and watch Julian from the corner of my eye. Even though we’re in Vesper House, he’s on high alert. He only relaxes when we’re in my room and he’s locked the door.
Julian cups my face in his hands and kisses me. “I’ll get you a bath started.”
“Okay.”
He leaves the room and I just stand there. I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t lying that I was tired, but now that I’ve spent the past half hour going through domestic chores with Julian, I’m less tired and more confused. I thought he was a vampire. He called himself dead and a demon. Since when did demons drawyou a bath? Right on cue, the sound of water rushing into the tub sounds from the bathroom.
“I guess they do since now,” I mutter. I go to my dresser and pull out sweats and a tank top. Just because Julian gave me the best orgasms of my life doesn’t mean I’m going to worry about what I wear to bed around him. If he’s obsessed with me he can prove it.
“Wait a minute.” I freeze and look towards the bathroom where I hear Julian moving around. “What the fuck am I doing?”
It’s like I’ve been in a haze all night and now…now I’m waking up.
What the fuck, I’m just accepting he’s a goddamned vampire?
A vampire.
“No.” I shake my head, drop my sweats and run for the door. Vampires aren’t real. What the fuck was I doing sitting there and talking to him over dumplings like any of this is real? He didn’t tell me anything that someone with an unhealthy obsession with Rococo wouldn’t know.
“He’s crazy,” I whisper. I don’t say the other part. So am I. I have to be if I let him convince me vampires are real and that he’s one of them. I run down the hallway and take the main stairs to the second floor. I don’t know why I do. It feels right. Maybe it’s because this is where granny and my parents stayed and the smallest part of me that still remembers what it felt like to be a kid who just wanted her parents to make things right leads me there. The floor is still and quiet, the only light comes from the windows at either end of the hallway, but even that’s precious little light. I go right and head straight for my granny’s room.
Downstairs I hear the slam of a door. “Maris?”
Fuck. Fuck. Why didn’t I go outside? Why did I come here? I’m such a fucking idiot. First I believe in vampires and now I’macting like a bimbo in a horror movie. Such a fucking idiot. I ease the door to my granny’s room shut and make a beeline for her closet. I used to hide here when I was small and everything felt overwhelming.
“She’s just a nervous child. She’ll grow out of it.”
That’s what granny told my parents when they were worried about me. I was a good kid. A happy kid. How could I not be with them for parents? They were…they were the best. My eyes water and I blink back tears while I shove a box of granny’s old handbags to the side and settle behind it in the back of the closet.
There were times when I’d vanish up here and be gone for half a day. I don’t know what I did when I was here. I try to remember but it’s just blank. My granny would come find me eventually with an ice cream or a cold can of soda.
“You about ready to come on out, mermaid?”
Mermaid. Yes. That’s right. She used to call me that all the time. The foggy memories of my childhood resurrect themselves and surround me in the dark of granny’s closet. How had I forgotten she called me Mermaid when I was small? I would always come out when she called me that.
“Maris!”
I hold my breath and startle. He’s outside of granny’s room. I didn’t even hear him walk down the stairs. I listen hard for a minute and then finally hear him. He’s moving down the hallway.
I’ll just stay here until it’s safe to come out. Everything will be okay, I tell myself and ignore the glaring hole in my plan.
When is a safe time to come out when there’s a man who thinks he’s a vampire in your house? A murderer. Fuck, he killed Father Paretti.Pot meet kettle. I murdered Mike and then Brian but those were different. Okay, Brian wasn’t so different since Julian’s reason was that Father Paretti “pissed him off” but still.
He drained him of his blood. Oh my god, how did he do that?
The door flies open and I scream. I kick the box of handbags at him which does absolutely nothing. Julian bats them aside as he flicks on the closet light and a second later he’s at my side. How does he move so fast? I’m shaking when he touches me.
“Why did you hide from me?”
“You’re not a vampire. You can’t be.”
“Oh, Maris…” There’s pity in his eyes, I can hear it in his voice too. I fucking hate it when people pity me. I’ve been an orphan for as long as anyone can remember in this town. Even before, when I was Queen Bee in Vesper Point, there was no amount of money, connections or pedigree that could erase the flicker of pity in people’s eyes when they saw me. If I had a tough day they wrote it off because “she’s been through a lot for her age.” They had truly pitied me like they were better. Like they were somehow worth more than me because they had both of their parents. This town was full of nobodies, fucking NPC kinds of people, with no aspirations or goals. They brought no value to this world and they liked it that way andtheypitiedme?
How fucking dare they.
One of the most satisfying moments of taking Mike Sheep out of this world was that no one looked at me like that anymore.
