“The last. That sounds incredibly lonely,” Julian observes.
I smile bitterly. “It is. It was. Even if I didn’t lose my shit and kill Mike, didn’t fuck up my entire life that night, I’d be in the same boat. An outsider, but I wouldn’t know it. I’d be stupid and convinced that I had real friends and someone who loved me.” I’ve never said that out loud. I’ve thought about my life before, sometimes I’ve missed it, but mostly I missed my parents and granny. I grieved my family. They understood me.
This town never did. It never even tried to.
I used to think that I loved this place. Even when I wanted to leave and see the world, I thought this was home. I wasn’t entirely wrong. This town, Vesper Point, might not be home, but Vesper House is.
Vesper House is the only home I’ve ever known. I won’t give it up to anyone. Not even the vampire Illuminati.
“If this council, the Varcolacus, tried to take my home from me, I wouldn’t be able to give it to them. Never.”
Julian’s face darkens. There’s a bleakness in his eyes that I haven’t seen before tonight. “That would pose a problem, Maris.”
“What kind of problem? Like something would happen to me?”
“The Final Death,” he says. “Any vampires who do not obey them are executed.”
“So they’d kill me because I don’t want to give them my house?” I shake my head. “No fucking way. I’ll die before I-”
Julian comes to me. He’s so fast that I barely process he’s gotten up at all until he’s in front of me. “You will not die. I won’t allow it.”
“But you just said they-”
“Would have to go through me. I’m not as tame as you may think, Maris. I’ve only made myself appear that way to escape notice.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I’ve stayed in hiding for a very specific reason. The Varcolacus are greedy. If they knew about me, they’d force me into their sphere of influence, and seeing as I’m not fond of rotting in a penthouse with all my meals served up to me I’ve stayed out of their way as nothing more than an ordinary vampire. Things would not go well for them if they forced my hand.”
“Are you stronger than them?”
He smiles and brushes my hair back from my shoulder with a light touch. “I’m strong enough. They are not to be crossed but neither am I. If it were to come down to it, they wouldn’t get away unscathed. It would be…what’s the term,” he tips his head to the side thoughtfully. Firelight plays over him, his blond hair burns gold, “mutually assured destruction. The Varcolacus are lazy. It’s been a century since they hunted for themselves and they’re not keen on loss. If we play our cards right it’ll beeasy enough to avoid them for a while yet. I came here after Rosanna’s mishap because I was not ready to confront them. I didn’t think I was ready for them to realize exactly who I am, but when it comes to you…” Julian sighs and shakes his head. “Any hand raised to you is raised to me. Remember that. I will keep you safe, Maris. No matter what you choose.”
“Even if that means I remain human?”
The low sound of thunder rolls overhead. A storm is blowing in. I wonder if this one will be bad.
“Even if you choose to remain human,” Julian assures me. There’s a tenderness to his words, a soft look in his eyes that makes it hard for me to consider that Julian is anything more than the gentle doctor I’ve come to know, but I’ve seen him sharp as a knife. He’s a predator.
Don’t forget that, Maris.
I put a hand on his chest and step closer to him. “You would stay with me?” I don’t know much about soulmates but I do know that I feel close to him. Closer to him than anyone I’ve ever known.
Julian puts a hand over mine. “I would,” he says. “Always.”
We stand in silence, our eyes locked together. The sound of the fire popping in the hearth mixes with the thunder and the gentletap tap tapof the rain that’s started to fall. I jump slightly when there’s a flash of lightning through the window.
That lightning flash is like a starter pistol for me. It makes me move, unlocks my body and before I know it I’m taking Julian’s hand in mine and tugging him towards the forgotten tray. “Help me clean up? We’ll go to bed after.”
Julian doesn’t hesitate or grumble the way Billy used to when I asked for help cleaning. He falls into step with me and does more than his fair share cleaning up dinner and helping me lock up the house. I pause in front of the dining room. The door is still open. I look inside and see the parlour doors thrown open.The spot where I killed Mike mingles with the memory of Julian and I together. The longer I stare at the spot, the tighter I grip the doorknob. My fingers are aching by the time a lightning flash makes the room go bright and brings me back to reality. I shut my eyes and step back to close the door behind me. There’s the quietsnkof the lock sliding home and then I step away from the door and turn around to run right into Julian.
“Julian!”
“You look upset. What happened?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. I was just locking up down here.” Julian doesn’t look convinced at my explanation and looks past me to the dining room door. I put a hand on his chest to stop him. “It’s nothing. Really. I was just-I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”
Julian is silent for a second before he accepts my explanation. “So it has. Let’s get you to bed.”
