I had to go to New York. I’m sorry. I hope you crush it.
For the ten thousandth time, I stare down at the text and let out a bitter laugh. Crush it? Igotcrushed, Dan.
In so many ways.
I keep replaying the moment before I left the house, when he pulled me in for that knee-melting kiss. I was distracted and nervous and didn’t pay attention, but looking back, something was definitely up. He had a desperate look in his eye that I chalked up to lust, but it was obviously more than that. Whathappened that made him board a flight without saying a word to me?
After I hit the ground during the scrimmage, there was a cacophony of whistles. Violet came racing out along with the medic. My ankle was already swelling, so they eased off my skate and helped me to the sideline. Grace sprang into action, running to the locker room to gather my stuff while Owen looked at my ankle. I talked everyone out of calling an ambulance, and Owen agreed that Grace could give me a ride to the emergency room.
It wasn’t until I’d settled into a curtained-off bed for my interminable wait that I pulled out my phone and learned that Dan had left the state.
Grace hasn’t said a word about her brother’s absence.
“Thanks,” I tell her, reaching for the Styrofoam cup.
A doctor in a white coat who looks like he’s about twelve breezes into the space, his eyes never leaving the iPad in his hands. “Okay, looks like you have a Weber A fracture—hey, Carson Webber! That’s appropriate!” He looks up at me like I’m going to laugh at the coincidence. Instead I burst into tears. His eyes go wide as dinner plates. “Hey, it’s okay! Of all the ankle fractures to get, this is probably the best one. Just six weeks in a boot, and you should be good to go. It’ll look like a Picasso for a few days until the swelling goes down and the bruising starts to fade, but it should feel better in a week or so. And once you’re done with the boot, you shouldn’t have any other complications.”
He flips the iPad around so I can see the X-ray, but the image is blurry through my tears. It’s the first time I’ve cried since Mercedes landed on my leg, and it doesn’t have a thing to do with the injury.
“I think she’s just a little overwhelmed and tired,” Grace says, smiling as she ushers the doctor away from me.
“I’ll just put in the order for the boot,” he says, looking slightly traumatized. This kid is going to need to toughen up if he plans to work in an emergency department. The eye black running downmy cheeks cannot be the most horrifying thing this man has ever seen.
“Yup, we’ll be here,” Grace says, whisking the curtain shut behind him. She turns and rolls her eyes. “I cannot believe society thinks men are stronger than women.”
I chuckle through my tears.
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry this is happening,” Grace says, pulling the flimsy plastic chair beside the bed closer. She drops down into it. “But it sounds like you’re going to be back on your feet in no time, and you were so incredible out there today. I bet you won’t lose a step.”
“I was pretty good, wasn’t it?” I say between sniffles.
“You were better than good,” she says. “I just wish you could have enjoyed it.”
I wait for her to say something else, maybe remind me that she warned me about Dan. That I’m sunshine and he’s rain, that he doesn’t know how to open up, that I shouldn’t be surprised that he’s left me without a word.
She doesn’t.
“He wasn’t there,” I say, the tears coming faster now.
“I know,” she says, taking my hand in hers and stroking her thumb across my skin. “But if he had to go to New York, I’m sure it was for something really?—”
The curtain flies open, and his frame fills the small space. He’s wearing a dark navy suit, his white dress shirt rumpled, his collar open and his gray tie loose. His eyes are dark and wild, like he hasn’t slept in days, and his chest is heaving like he sprinted all the way here from New York.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice a deep rasp, like its clawing its way out of his throat.
“No, she’s not okay,” Grace snaps. “She has a fractured fibula, and you weren’t there.”
“I know, I?—”
“No,” Grace says, jumping up from her chair. She approaches her brother, puts a hand on his chest, and gives him a gentleshove. “Dan, you’re my brother and I love you, butno. You don’t get to come crashing in here looking all tortured and expect her to listen to your excuses. The time for explanations wasbeforeyou jumped on a plane and left Carson wondering where the hell you went.”
But Dan plants his feet into the shiny white floor of the hospital, his eyes never leaving mine.
“I know. I know I hurt you, Carson, and I’m so fucking sorry. Please just let me explain.”
Grace, my best friend and personal hospital bouncer, looks at me over her shoulder, her eyebrows raised.
I give her a nod, and she turns back to Dan. Based on the way he takes the tiniest step back, she must be giving him a hell of a glare.
