"This isn't a punishment. I'm trying to help you." He typed something on his keyboard.
"Is Eve being my date the punishment then?" I couldn't help but ask.
Frank's entire demeanor softened. She'd charmed him somehow. "I like Eve, and I think she'll be good for you and Sofia."
"How can you possibly know that?" I bit out.
"I can sense things about people. It's what makes me a good fire chief. And I want you to have this job when I retire. But the way you are now, it's not going to happen."
"I'll do better."
His gaze moved from his screen to me. "Words are meaningless unless something changes."
"I understand that." But I didn't. Being grumpy kept the guys from talking to me or asking me to hang out with them. I could be by myself, which was what I wanted. It was just me and Sofia from now on. I had to get used to it.
He folded his hands on the desk. "We're here for you. I just wished you'd understand that and accept our help."
I swallowed down my usual refrain that I was fine and nodded. "Thanks, Frank."
He nodded too. "I'll text you the name of a therapist that's helped a few other men who've been in traumatic situations before. And before you tell me that you haven't been in a traumatic situation, watching your wife die was hard."
I nodded again, over the lump in my throat, because it was the worst thing I'd ever been through.
He gentled his voice. "I believe in you. I know you can come out of this stronger."
No one understood that there wasn't anything to come out of. My wife was gone, and it felt like the future we planned was too. What was there to feel good about? Sofia didn't have a mother,and the person who I thought would be by my side forever was gone.
"You be nice to Eve. I don't want to hear that you were a jerk to her."
I cleared my throat. "You can count on me."
"I know I can. You're going to come out of this. I'm rooting for you. Hell, all the guys are."
Rooting for what? Me to move on with another woman? Me to be happy again? It seemed impossible.
Success was taking care of Sofia and filling her mother's shoes, even if it was impossible. I wanted her to feel loved. Thank God, I had my family around. I wouldn't know what I'd do without them. "I have dinner tonight with my family."
Frank smiled, pleased. "Good. Tell Sofia I said hi."
"Will do." I got up and left Frank's office, wondering if it would ever be mine. Did I even want the job anymore? Wouldn't it be easier to fade into the background, taking care of Sofia but just surviving otherwise?
I gathered my things and headed home. My parents and siblings took turns watching Sofia for my twenty-four-hour shifts. Without them, I probably would have had to find a different job, one that was a typical nine-to-five. I would have hated that even more.
I drove to Mom and Dad's house where Sofia went after school today. As soon as I opened the door to their house, Sofia came running. "Daddy!"
I caught her in my arms, holding her close. I knew she was worried that something would happen to me too. A firefighter's job was dangerous, and she was aware that I might not come home. That was another reason to get the chief position. I'd be at a desk all day instead of fighting fires. She was the reason I was working so hard for the promotion. And I'd endure a holidayparty, a therapist, and a date with a gorgeous, pushy woman to get it.
I breathed in her scent, strawberries and graham crackers, most likely her afternoon snack, as Mom came into the foyer. "She missed you."
"It's a long twenty-four hours," I said as I set her down, ruffling her hair. It was hard for her losing her mother and then me being gone. At least as fire chief, my hours would be during the day, and I wouldn't be gone overnight. I'd still be on call, but it wouldn't be as bad as it was now.
"Sofia, help me with the carrots," Dad called from the kitchen.
Sofia's eyes lit up. "Can I cut them?"
"You sure can," Dad said.
When she ran into the kitchen, Mom asked, "How are you doing?"
