Fern:Yeah. I kind of have feelings about it ...
Jenna:Girl, you are not the only one. I am hella jealous right now!!
Lisa:Me toooo. I would literally kill to be a GMA book club pick omg
My heart sings. They get me. They are my people. My tribe.
Fern:I’m so glad you said that! I don’t want to be a horrible person, but I amDyingwith jealousy
Jenna:Saaaame! It doesn’t make you a bad person at all! I think it’s human nature
Fern:It’s just, out of all people, whyHer, you know?
Lisa:What do you mean?
I stop typing. What does Lisa mean what do I mean? Isn’t it obvious? I literally meant what I said: Why Haven?
Fern:Oh it’s just like, it feels like everything good only ever happens to Haven ... IDK, I’m probably just being dumb
Jenna:You’re not being dumb at all!
Lisa:I wouldn’t say that everything good only ever happens to her. So ... I’m not supposed to tell anyone this, but she’s had to move back to her parents’ house because her dad got COVID and it was touch and go for a while back there
Fern:What?!
I am literally gaping at my phone, and here’s the thing: What I’m really shocked about isn’t the fact that Haven’s dad got COVID—I mean, I am shocked about that because, of course, it’s shocking news—it’s the fact that Lisa, my friend Lisa, knew about it.
Fern:How do you know?
Lisa:She told me. Listen you guys, she told me in confidence so pleaaaase do not tell anyone!
Haven told Lisa? Lisa,my friendLisa? A dirty, ugly feeling has awakened deep in my belly and is gnawing away at my flesh. I feel sick. Have they been chatting with each other behind my back all this while? From how long ago? What do they talk about with each other? And why have they been talking? Who started it?
A million questions buzz through my head, leaving me frozen. I don’t even know what to say to her right now. Luckily, Jenna seems to have read my mind.
Jenna:Wait, she told you in confidence? You guys talk to each other?
Yes, go Jenna! I want to cheer at her. A surge of goodwill washes over me as I look at Jenna’s name. Jenna is my rock. She’s always had my back, at every instance she’s been there to prop me up, to lend me a voice of support.
Lisa:Yeah. Remember about a month ago I posted in #covid about my best friend getting it? Haven messaged me to check if I was okay, and we started talking, and then about a week later, her dad got it and she told me, I guess because I’m one of the few people she knows who’s had someone get the virus?
I take a deep breath and force myself to calm down. Put like that, it makes sense, I suppose. It’s not like what I’d feared—Haven reaching out to dish some dirt about me. Of course it isn’t like that. That would be ridiculous. But even as I think that, I get a flashback of Haven and Dani and the other girls whispering to one another and shooting me dark looks as I watched from afar. No, it’s not like that at all. Lisa is my friend. And we’re grown women, for god’s sake.
Fern:I’m really sorry about your best friend. How is she doing now?
Lisa:Thanks! She’s doing fine. It never got bad, thank god, she said it felt like a really rough cold and she would get winded walking up the stairs, but other than that the symptoms were okay and she tested negative about two weeks later, so PHEW! I was just so scared when she first told me though
Jenna:Oh, I bet! That’s wild. I’m so glad she’s okay
Lisa:Yeah, and for a while we were really worried about her husband and kids getting it too; her 6yo has asthma, so that would’ve been really bad
Jenna:Oh shit, yeah, totally
I sense the conversation about to slip into the realms of talking about children once more, and panic grabs me. Before I can stop myself, I type a new message.
Fern:Wow, thank god they didn’t get it! Hey so, how’s Haven’s dad doing? She had to move back in to take care of them?
The words “Lisa is typing ...” appear and disappear. My heart sits snugly in my throat while I stare at the screen, unblinking. She types again.
