I nodded.
“Are you going dancing too?” She clasped her hands on top of her thighs.
I smiled. Clara loved the concept of going dancing. She spoke about how she’d do it all over the world when she was older, that she’d learn to salsa and waltz.
“Maybe.” I highly doubted I’d be dancing. I’d stick to doing it in the living room with Clara. When Beau was nowhere to be found.
“And will you meet boys?” Clara asked, eyes lighting up.
Clara also recently loved the concept of boys. And romance. And kissing.
My cheeks flamed, and my knees threatened to buckle from the intensity of Beau’s gaze. But what did Beau care if I met a man? I was single, it was my prerogative. He hadn’t so much as gone on a date since I’d been here. Not that that meant there weren’t women.
Beau could’ve been discreet.
The mere thought of Beau with another woman had me clenching my teeth.
“Maybe,” I told Clara, telling myself I was feeding her romantic heart, not playing stupid games with Beau to see if he cared about me.
She jumped up from the sofa. “Imagine if you meet a boy and fall in love! Then you can stay in Jupiter and live here forever!”
Clara was aware of my plans for leaving. Beau reminded her often, as did I. We had an unspoken agreement to manage Clara’s expectations toward me, to ensure that she knew my presence was not forever. Boundaries. We’d tried to instill them.
I thought she’d taken it in stride, but apparently, she was making up fantasies about me staying forever. Her and me both.
I smiled, still not looking at Beau.
Clara did, though. “Wouldn’t that be great, Daddy?” She turned to him. “If Hannah lived here forever?”
ThenI looked at Beau. He was a statue. His knuckles were white, gripping his e-reader, making me worried about its fate in his large hands. He was still staring at me, and he did so for precisely five seconds after his daughter asked him that question before he looked at her, his features softening.
“If Hannah lived here forever, it would be with a man, and not a boy,” he said, voice thick.
It took all my effort not to stumble back at his words, to not crumble under the weight of them.
Beau rose from the couch, setting down his Kindle before walking over to pull his daughter into his arms. “But Hannah has a whole life ahead of her that doesn’t include Jupiter, don’t you?”
Beau looked at least six inches above my head when he asked me that question.
A life that doesn’t include us, was what Beau left unsaid, a five-year-old unable to comprehend the meaning.
“I don’t pretend to know what’s ahead of me.” My throat went dry, making it difficult to swallow. My gaze centered on Clara. “And I agree with your father, Clara, Idefinitelyneed a man instead of a boy.”
Feeling brave, I gave Beau a pointed look.
His eyes flared in surprise, and there was no missing the way his jaw clenched. My fingertips went numb, and I became very aware of my lower body, of the need unfurling there.
My phone vibrated in my purse, jerking me out of my stupor. I fumbled for it, reading the text.
“Lori’s here,” I said woodenly. “Sleep well, Clara.” I blew her a kiss. I didn’t look at Beau again.
I couldn’t.
There were no boys, or men, at dinner.
We did not go dancing, not that I wanted to, anyway. Nor did Lori.
Because she was too sick.
