“You keep calling me that. Boyfriend.”
“It’s the only word I have for… whatever this is.”
“I’m more than that.”
“Then start acting like it.”
“Don’t throw DePout in my face while you say that.”
“He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“He got to see you break,” Vince said. “That alone makes me want to put a bullet through his fucking chest.”
My stomach clenched. “Do not threaten him.”
“He had his hands on you while you were sobbing aboutme.”
“Stop it. The line Atticus and I have is real. If we ever crossed it, you’d see the announcement on global stream. It wouldn’t be a secret.”
“So you’re thinking about it,” he said.
“I’m thinking about the fact I might need more than two days a fortnight of feeling like someone’s person.” My voice dropped and so did my stomach. “I’m thinking about how I can’t keep doing this, living in extremes.”
“That is not turning my feelings off. That is compartmentalising so I don’t get you killed.” his words coming out tight.
“That’s a nice tactical way of saying you’ll be able to walk past me for good one day. And I’ll be the only one standing there with my heart in pieces.”
“Madeline. That is not going to happen.”
I stared up at the ceiling, throat burning. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
The silence on the line changed. I pictured him somewhere in Villain, standing very still.
“What did you say.”
I took a deep breath. Squeezed my eyes shut, let the tears flood.
“I said I don’t think I can do this. This… half-life. This off and on. I can’t do weeks of being ignored, then forty-eight hours of being worshipped like I’m your universe. It’s splitting me in half.”
He swore, Crow words jagged and fast.
I sat up pulling my knees to my chest. “I think you should get another sub. Someone who can do this. The off and on.”
“No. We’re not having that conversation.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I. This is not a fucking lifestyle. I am not a dom shopping on Veil. You are my sub because I need to control everything around you, because that is the only way I know how to love. Crows obsess, possess, protect. That’s what this is. Not a weekend hobby.”
“And, I’m saying I can’t meet you there,” I whispered. “Not like this.”
“You’re breaking up with me.”
“That’s not?—”
“Say it. Say the words, baby.It’s over, Vince. I’m done. Go find someone else you can stomach ignoring in a hall.”
My ribs locked around my heart. Air felt wrong in my lungs.
