I wanted to scoff, it was about being invisible to him. “This is about the fact that every heir dates. I’ve heard about the twins and their one woman. Rome as well. I watched Harrison Crow in Harlan with a woman glued to his side for a week straight, and everyone just acted like it was part of the décor. Don’t tell me it can’t be done.”
“They’re not me.”
“They’re still Crows. They still have enemies. You protect your sisters. You track anyone who looks at them twice. You could do the same for me if you wanted.”
“I am doing that.”
“You’re hiding me,” I corrected. “You keep me secret because I’m a toy you don’t want anyone else to break.”
His tone changed. “Don’t.”
“I’m wrong?”
“You’re not a toy.”
“Then what am I?”
“My sub.”
“That’s not enough outside your penthouse.”
“That’s everything.”
“I’m the one standing in halls pretending I don’t know the man who held me while I—” my throat closed, “—while I did something I can’t even say out loud without wanting to die of embarrassment.”
“Pissed while I was still inside you,” he said, no softness at all. “You trusted me that much.”
“Don’t—”
“Don’t you dare dilute that moment. You let go for me in a way you’ve never let go for anyone. I think about it, and I get hard all over again. I think about how you spent an entire day connected to me.”
My cheeks burned. I couldn’t say anything. So, I didn’t and the silence lasted.
“You think I turn you off and go to work.” he said after a long moment.
“You do.”
“No.” His tone sharpened. “I have rules. You follow every single one. You send photos every morning. You tell me where you are. What you eat. Who touches you. You send debriefs at night. That is not nothing. That’s a life threaded through mine, even when I can’t get my hands on you.”
The tears slid down my face, I stopped trying to wipe them away.
“I still feel alone,”
“I’m your dom. That means a hell of a lot more than some casual boy with flowers and a hand on your waist.”
For the first time, I wondered why I kept begging to be seen.
“I didn’t ask for flowers. I asked you to look at me at the gala while you were standing next to another woman. I asked you to speak to me in a corridor when I could barely stay upright.”
He breathed out hard. “There were Veil drones in the rafters, cameras in the walls, handlers watching from the mezzanine, and a billion people streaming the event in twelve languages. Icould feel Damius tracking me across the room like a weapon. If I’d looked at you for more than half a second, you’d be on a hundred feeds spliced together with Crow crest overlays and commentary about who the Lord of Villain fucks to relax.”
“So, what’s, the excuse for tonight? In the chamber, there weren’t any cameras. Just dynasty officials and security. And you still walked right past.”
“I had to make sure those men understood the new enforcement terms?—”
“I needed my boyfriend,” I yelled but it sounded more like a pathetic beg. He stilled. I could hear the shift in his breathing.
“The worst part? Knowing that you were there. It would have been easier if you’d been in another city. Instead, Atticus held me. Because my so-called boyfriend is only allowed to be one every second weekend.”
