We could go anywhere. Just me and my warrior horse. Disappear into the dawn, taking the pieces of my shattered heart to sort through, avoid all of thedestructionawaiting me, hide from the heartbreak and warfare and political schemes, the curses and prophecies and bloodstained futures.
I could rid myself of it all.
A breeze stirred my hair. I turned my face toward it, the subtle aroma of wildflowers wrapping around me, soothing me.
It was a ridiculous thought, as nice as it would be. There would be no running. Not from this. I had hidden from my pain for too long, building up a wall of aggression and snapping at any who tried to knock it down.
I had sworn to myself I would never do that again.
This time, I would collect the shards of myself and build them into something more beautiful than before. Maybe one day, I would give it away again to someone who truly saw me for all my wrecked pieces. Someone who loved the woman I’d become rather than the girl I used to be. But first, I’d learn it as I never had. Understand the hollows and what it took to fill them. Love it as I never knew to.
I would not be broken forever.
“We’ll be okay, girl,” I whispered to Sapphire, leaning forward to pat her. “We’ll find our way.”
A tear splashed to her mane. I hadn’t even realized I’d beencrying, but they dripped one by one from my cheeks as we watched the sun rise fully over the city atop the peaks. Listening to the breeze stirring the grass and the birds calling to their mates, I found a bit of peace within myself.
That sense of understanding threading between me and Sapphire echoed with her reassurance.It’s already okay, she seemed to say. It didn’t mean I didn’t hurt, it didn’t mean Malakai and I breaking up was easy, but she was right.
So like I’d been needing to, like I’d been avoiding, I released all of those strings of my relationship with Malakai and finally breathed. One big gulp of air that felt unnatural without his scent in it but that whispered against the space left behind, instilling life into it. It was what everyone had hoped would happen when he disappeared. That air would be enough for me to survive on when his life had become my own. It hadn’t. It wouldn’t ever have because every one of my breaths at that point had been for him.
Now, they were for me.
We didn’t run away,but we stayed out for hours longer than I’d planned.
With Renaiss celebrations lasting all night for those whose relationship wasn’t crumbling before their eyes, everyone would be in bed until midday. I snuck Sapphire back to the stables and continued through the garden to the palace, scampering up the stairs, thoughts on the heat of the bath I was going to run in solitude.
Where was Malakai? My gut twisted at the chance he would be in our room. We would no longer share it, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted it as my own anymore. It had only ever beenours.
“Good morning, Ophelia.”
I froze on the top stair, hand curling on the railing. “It’s afternoon, Tolek,” I said without turning. My heart thundered in my chest.
“That it is, yet everyone seems to be sleeping. Where are you coming from?”
I drummed my fingers on the banister. “A ride.” I couldn’t turn—he’d know from one look at me that something was wrong.
“Lovely day for it.” Confusion was clear in his voice.
“It was,” I whispered. He was likely only waking, had probably just walked out whatever guests had spent the night in his suite, or maybe he was coming home from wherever he’d been. I didn’t want to know.
His steps rang out on the marble stairs, slow and daunting, until he stopped before me. Nerves fluttered in my stomach. My fingers continued their steady drumming, and I kept my stare on them.
Then, Tolek slid a finger beneath my chin and—gently enough that I could have stopped him should I have wanted to—lifted my gaze to his. He searched my face, taking in the red-rimmed eyes, the shadows framing them.
I bit my bottom lip, waiting for his questions.
“Tea?” he asked.
My heartbeat calmed. “Yes, please.”
Tol held his arm out, and as I slipped my hand around it, my frame strengthened. By the time we reached the kitchens, a bit of the tightness within me had eased.
“Are you sure no one will care that we’re in here?” I asked. Mystlight flared to life above us, illuminating sandstone floors and speckled granite countertops. Wide windows stretched across one wall, sunlight filtering through sheer yellow curtains, and a myriad of herbs grew beneath them.
“Ophelia, youarethe Revered, did you forget?” Tol swung the pantry open, gathering an assortment of teas. “Besides,” he added, boiling water over the mystlight stove. “I come down here all the time.”
“You do?” I hopped up on the counter, making myself comfortable. As he’d said, this was my palace.
