“I don’t sleep well,” Tol explained without looking at me.
“Is that new?” I tried to remember a time when he’d mentioned it before.
His shoulders tensed. “Since we’ve been here,” he clipped, then shook his head. When he continued, his voice had returned to normal. “I come down here for tea or liquor at night. It happened so often, the staff started leaving the damned stuff out for me.”
I was glad he had made himself at home quickly in the palace, even if it was due to insomnia. Tolek fit well here, with the finery andthe abundance of friendly faces, the freedoms and possibilities. Damenal was built for warriors like him.
“It’s good to know they’re accommodating.”
“More than.” Tol piled a tray with the pot of tea, two cups, sugar, and a plate of biscuits. He carried it to where I sat and set it beside me, preparing both of our cups. One scoop of sugar in mine, as I preferred, and two in his own.
“Sweet enough?” I quirked a brow.
Tolek made a show of tasting his tea. “No,” he decided, adding one more scoop.
I shook my head, but I was laughing, and I hadn’t expected that out of today. When I tasted my own drink, it was perfect.
“Okay, I made you tea and I even provided biscuits. Now, tell me the reason for the morning ride.”
The smile vanished from my lips, eyes instantly stinging. I looked at the ceiling, the kettle, counted the leaves on the mint plant under the window. Anything to avoid meeting his gaze.
“Malakai and I—umm—” I drew circles around the rim of my cup, the pad of my fingers gathering drops of condensation. Surely Tol could hear my heart pounding. “We broke up.”
“What?” Tolek fumbled his cup, catching it before it crashed to the ground. Hot tea poured over our boots and his pants. “Shit.”
“Here, let me—” I started to scoot off the counter, but he put a hand on my knee, and I froze.
“I’ll deal with that later.” His face was grave, a crease forming between his brows as he searched my eyes. “What happened?”
“Only what’s been happening since he’s been back,” I muttered. With Tolek’s attention on me, moisture gathered in my eyes. He lifted his hand to wipe one rogue tear away as it slipped down my cheek, catching it before it could fully fall.
“I didn’t realize how bad it was,” he whispered.
“I was denying it.” I shrugged. “I think he was, too.”
He leaned against the counter. “And how do you feel about it?”
“I feel…” I chewed my lip. “I feel…not good. But okay. It—it had to happen. We’re not right for each other anymore. Every day that we helped each other avoid our problems, we were only hurting ourselves.”
Tolek considered, folding his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry it turned into that, Ophelia.” The genuine concern deepening his chocolate eyes made the ache in my chest worse, like something was pounding against my sternum.
“It’s not your fault.” I picked up a biscuit and broke it in half. It tasted like cardboard thanks to the churning in my stomach, but I nibbled on the corner for something to do. “I’m not sure I know what to do now, though. How to move forward.” Especially with everything imploding around us. All of the very real threats I couldn’t ignore.
Tol sighed. “Do you want my honest opinion?”
“Always.”
He swallowed, contemplating. Then, he moved the tray aside and hopped onto the counter beside me. “Malakai is one of my best friends, but when he left us, you changed. For so long, you fought for him—and that was admirable—but now you need to fight for yourself. There’s only so long that you can fight for a future that doesn’t want to exist. But you’re strong and you deserve to be happy. I can guarantee he wants that for you, too. And I’m certain you want it for him. So you move forward like you would any other day. You wake up each morning and you face it. You don’t run from it, though. Promise me you won’t run from it.” He waited for me to nod, desperation burning in his eyes. “If you do that, you’ll be okay.”
Wake up, move forward, find my own path.
He didn’t know I’d already decided to do exactly that. But even having reached that conclusion on my own, Tolek’s confidence bolstered me, like it stacked my bones back together until I could stand straight again.
“You’re sure about that?” I asked. Sometime during his speech, my tears had dried.
“Positive.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “I don’t lie to you, Ophelia.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder. “Thank you for never lying.”
