I’d asked Seren more than once if she wanted to come with us. She never even hesitated. She told me she didn’t drink or smoke or party anymore. She said that, paired with the fact that shedidn’t like people outside of the small circle she trusted, made a party the last place she wanted to be. And even though the night so far mirrored the one before it in so many ways, the music loud, the car winding through familiar streets, the same teenage boys beside me, it didn’t feel the same. The taste of teenage freedom was still there. I could feel it faintly. It hadn’t disappeared completely. But it wasn’t sweet anymore. It was bitter.
I tried to understand where that bitterness was coming from, turning it over in my mind until there was only one place it could have originated. Anxiety. And not the good kind. Not the fluttery anxiety that comes with a first date, or the kind that buzzes through you before stepping onstage at a talent show. This was the anxiety that lived in your gut. The kind that nagged and pulsed, repeating the same thought over and over until it lost all meaning except urgency. This is a bad idea. But why was it a bad idea? The answer came easily, even if I didn’t want it to. The last time I’d been dragged to one of these events, I watched as two strangers pulled my drugged best friend into the backseat of their car. Sure, that night had ended well for Cherry and me, thanks to fate. Thanks to the timing. Thanks to luck. But what if next time it didn’t?
“Yellow.” Austin’s voice cut through my thoughts, grounding me abruptly. His hand moved, brushing against my thigh, waking me from the stiff stillness I’d been locked in. His fingers settled there gently, his palm warm against my bare skin, and my heart gave a sudden, traitorous lurch.
“Yeah?” I tried to keep my voice light, airy. Casual. The slight frown that crossed Austin’s face told me I hadn’t succeeded.
“We can just drop Levi off,” he said carefully. “You know that, right?” Levi started to protest from the back seat, but Austin shut him down immediately. “Shut up, Levi.”
“It’s fine,” I shook my head, though my stomach tightened all over again. “I just… we don’t have to stay all night, right?”
“I’ll have you home before curfew,” Austin said, winking at me. The reassurance helped, but not enough.
“Actually…” I let the word stretch out as I took a slow breath through my nose. “Maybe we could just go back to your place.” I cleared my throat, suddenly hyper-aware of how it might sound. Too eager. Too desperate. “You know,” I added quickly, staring straight ahead. “Just us.”
I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see his reaction. But I felt it anyway. His body went tense beside me, subtle but unmistakable. His grip tightened slightly on my leg, not rough, not painful, but enough to tell me I’d shifted something.
“And you’re saying we have to go to this party?” Austin’s voice dropped into something I hadn’t heard from him before. It wasn’t sweet like when he complimented me, or gentle like when he reassured me. It was low. Controlled. Needing. The sound of it alone made my body react before my brain could catch up.
“Yeah,” Levi answered before I could. “We do. And we’re already here, so can you two manage to keep your pants on for now?”
“Oh my god,” I muttered, lifting a hand to my face as reality snapped back into place. I’d momentarily forgotten we weren’t alone in the car.
“Yeah, yeah,” Austin said, his tone shifting instantly, back to the edge of rudeness he reserved for everyone who wasn’t me. He pulled the car over along the side of a road that looked like itwas usually quiet. Tonight, it wasn’t. There was a low hum in the air, bass vibrating faintly through the pavement, headlights clustered along the curb in a way that made me wonder how the host even knew this many people.
Austin’s hand slid firmly around my waist, pulling me in until nearly my entire left side was pressed against his right. The grip wasn’t careless. It was deliberate. Possessive in a way that made it clear he wasn’t planning on letting much space exist between us tonight—if he had any say in it. Levi didn’t bother knocking. He opened the door like he owned the place and led the way inside without hesitation. We followed him into the crowd, and something strange happened as we moved forward. The drunken teenagers parted around us. Not consciously. Not politely. Just instinctively like there was an invisible boundary no one wanted to cross. Like we were moving through the room inside our own pocket of space, untouched. And for the first time since we’d pulled up, the bitterness in my chest sharpened into something else entirely.
“Blair!” I heard Cherry’s voice at the exact same moment her body collided with mine, the impact knocking Austin’s arm away from where it had been wrapped around me—protective, or maybe possessive. I wasn’t entirely sure which.
“Hey, Cherry,” I laughed, instinctively wrapping my arms around her. She laughed straight into my ear like I’d said something hilarious, and the sharp scent of vodka hit my nose like a calculated attack on my senses.
“Why are you here?” she rushed out, pulling back just enough to look at me. “How the hell did Levi convince you to come? Oh my god, this is so fun. This is so fun. Blair, this is so fun.” Her hands landed on my shoulders as she spoke, but her eyes flickedtoward Levi—playful, sure. But there was something else there too. Something dangerous.
“Cherry,” Levi stepped closer, his tone flat. “You’re drunk.”
“Am I?” Cherry laughed, like the idea alone was hysterical.
“Yes,” Levi and I said at the same time. That only made her laugh harder.
“Oops.” She grinned, wide and unrestrained, her eyes drifting back to Levi’s like they couldn’t help themselves. “Come on.”
She grabbed my hands and started pulling me forward at a speed my feet absolutely could not keep up with. I stumbled, nearly tripping over myself, and the only reason I didn’t go down was because Austin’s hands were suddenly back at my waist. Cherry dragged us into the kitchen, already zeroing in on a bottle of vodka sitting out on the counter like it was calling her name. My stomach dropped. I watched her fingers curl around the bottle, watched her twist the cap loose, watched her lift it toward her mouth, and something in me snapped. I moved before I even thought about it, yanking the bottle out of her hands like it was a live wire.
“Are you stupid?” I blurted, staring at the bottle like it might explode. “Cherry, what the fuck?”
“Don’t worry,” she slurred, shaking her head slowly, exaggerated. “Lucas was watching it.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “He was watching it, right? I told him to watch it. I said, I said, no more roofies for me.” Then she laughed.
I stared at my drunken best friend for another second, my face blank, before finally following the direction of her thumb. Lucas was leaning casually against the counter, an amused expression on his face as he watched Cherry’s slurred movements like itwas all entertainment. Like she was a show he hadn’t paid admission for but was enjoying anyway. It took me a moment longer to notice Killian standing beside him. I wasn’t sure what I had expected when my eyes finally found his face, but whatever it was, it wasn’t this. His attention wasn’t on Cherry. It wasn’t on Lucas. It wasn’t even on me. It was on Austin’s hands. Specifically, the way Austin was gripping my waist.
Killian’s eyes were narrowed, sharp with something I couldn’t immediately name. Annoyance, maybe. Possession. He didn’t look up when my gaze lingered on him. He didn’t acknowledge me at all. He just stood there, his hand clenched tightly around the neck of his beer bottle like he might shatter it if he squeezed hard enough. The sight unsettled me. I tore my eyes away from him, confused and uneasy, and glanced over my shoulder instead. I searched for Austin’s gaze, needing something grounding.
But just like Killian, his eyes weren’t on mine. They were locked on Killian. Austin’s jaw was tight, his body rigid behind me, his attention fixed on the way Killian was watching his hands on my body. The grip at my waist didn’t loosen. If anything, it firmed, unmistakable now. And the look in Austin’s eyes wasn’t subtle. If looks could kill, Killian would have already been dead. Killian seemed to regain control of his wandering eyes a split second later. He lifted his gaze to my face, a lopsided grin sliding into place like he hadn’t just been glaring holes into my body. Like nothing had happened at all. Austin’s annoyance, however, didn’t disappear nearly as easily. I could feel it behind me, heavy and unmistakable, the way his presence seemed to carve itself into my back.
“Blair,” Killian said loudly, the sudden volume making Lucas jerk his head up in surprise. “Hey.” His smile widened, easy andcareless, but the slur in his voice was impossible to miss. I felt a flicker of irritation bloom in my chest. What kind of party was this, and why did it feel like everyone was already drunk before midnight had even arrived?
“Hi,” I said, lifting one hand in a small wave. Austin’s grip tightened immediately.
“You want a drink?” Killian asked, his attention fixed entirely on me. He pushed off the counter, extending a hand like Austin wasn’t even standing there. “I can grab you one. Or actually, I was just about to get another, so you could—”
